Podcast Guests, army Rachelle Smith Podcast Guests, army Rachelle Smith

Military Sexual Trauma and Letting Go of Repressed Pain: Ron Carter (Part 2) | The Silenced Voices of MST with Rachelle Smith

Military Sexual Trauma survivor Ron Carter appears on The Silenced Voices of MST to share the experiences that shaped his early service, the assault he endured, and the long-term effects that developed when the trauma went unrecognized. This interview begins a three-part series that follows his path from enlistment through MST, behavioral collapse, and his eventual understanding of PTSD outside of combat contexts. His story offers clear insight into how MST develops within military structures and how untreated trauma influences thinking, memory, relationships, and emotional regulation over decades.

U.S. Army veteran Ron Carter discusses Military Sexual Trauma, finding benefit in doing intensive therapy and somatic release to come to terms with what he survived while serving on The Silenced Voices of MST.

U.S. Army veteran Ron Carter continues his story on The Silenced Voices of MST. In Part 1, Ron shared his experience of assault and decades of undiagnosed PTSD. In Part 2, he shares a possible reason for the outcome of filing his disability claim with uncharacteristic ease that validated his trauma and raised more questions, reaching his breaking point at an annual VA appointment, and his experiences through therapy and alternative treatments. Ron shares many profound insights going from crisis to acceptance, the role of persistence in navigating, and what is possible when survivors finally find therapies that work.


Military Sexual Trauma survivor Ron Carter appears on The Silenced Voices of MST in Part 2 of his 3-part series to recount what it was like finally seeking help after trying to live his life without acknowledging or understanding the severity of his assault while serving in the Army. An unexplained breakdown and an understanding VA staff led to him remembering the trauma he’d repressed for 35 years, and as soon as he could, he began treatment for PTSD and other mental illnesses that had resulted. He shares the methods of therapy he used to begin healing, including a detailed account of how Psilocybin therapy offered him somatic release from the trauma that remained trapped in his body. He and Rachelle discuss how predators and perpetrators can be held accountable, as well as their hopes for future generations having safety without people who commit crimes and harm having many places to hide. This episode provides invaluable insights into the importance of having support, numerous methods of therapy to choose from, and acknowledges that the military needs to do something in order to protect the men and women called to serve the country. 


Dealing with the VA Disability Claims Process

Ron initially avoided anything connected to his military service. Years of suppressing his trauma led to a disconnect from the experiences that shaped his post-military life. He describes burying the assault so deeply that he convinced himself it never happened, or at least that it didn't matter anymore. This avoidance extended to the VA system itself. Ron resisted engaging with the VA because the military had already failed him once, and he questioned why the VA would be any different.

Despite his resistance, Ron eventually filed for PTSD disability. The approval came quickly. The VA granted him a 70% rating, but Ron was surprised about how easy it was to get to 100% with the help of a lawyer. The unexpected ease of the approval process raised questions about his perpetrator. Had the platoon sergeant harmed more people the same way? Without answers, Ron recalls that at times, he still feels rage resurface about that day. But he is also unsure that he would want that information, because he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep himself from doing anything about it.

Expressing deep concern for the future service members in the Armed Forces, he points out that he is oddly glad that if an assault were to happen to him at any point in his life, he was grateful that it was while serving in the military. Now, there are multitudes of resources and help available when someone understands what happened to them. The veterans’ benefits helped him and his family, while he realizes that civilians don’t usually have the same access to care. He calls this a silver lining.

But he does want the next generations to not be a part of the current epidemic of military sexual trauma. He shares the numbers of people affected and suicides each year, and the infuriation of this continuing to happen consistently to the young people who are choosing to serve.

The Exhaustion that Led to Confronting the Past (Trigger Warning)

Trigger Warning: This section contains discussion of mental health crisis.

Even with the disability rating, he spent years holding everything in, feeling as though he was the only person this had ever happened to. Then came the breaking point at an annual appointment at the VA. 

"I went to talk and I couldn't talk. I started crying uncontrollably." Ron explains. The trigger for the breakdown?

The Physicians Assistant asked, “Hey Ron, how are you?”

I can’t live like this anymore. I’m tired of
fighting.
— Ron Carter

All those years of suppressing his trauma, and suddenly he couldn't do it anymore. He describes sitting in that VA office, confronting suicidal thoughts he'd been pushing away for decades. He was exhausted from hypervigilance and not understanding what was happening inside his body and mind. When the PA called a Psychiatrist down, he wasn’t able to speak to her either. It took quite a while for him to calm down enough to say, “I can’t live like this anymore. I’m tired of fighting.”

Ron's sudden outburst  was the culmination of years of isolation that nearly cost him his life during ongoing battles with suicidal ideation. The breakdown forced him to acknowledge that he could no longer survive by burying his pain. He needed help, and he needed it immediately. This crisis became the turning point that led him toward therapy, treatment, and eventually healing.

Remembering His Assault: Rediscovering Buried Memories

 U.S. Army veteran Ron Carter discusses Military Sexual Trauma, finding benefit in doing intensive therapy and somatic release to come to terms with what he survived while serving on The Silenced Voices of MST.

The psychiatrist that Ron spoke to listened to what Ron had been struggling with for decades, and identified severe depression and PTSD . He responded that he couldn’t have PTSD, because he hadn’t been in combat. The therapist told him to think about it to see if he could remember and assured him that it could be caused by more than combat.

In the interview, he says that he had forgotten what had happened, but memories of the assault began to surface after a few days of ruminating. Shocked, he had to gather his courage and return to the psychiatrist, saying flatly what happened through another crying jag. The doctor didn’t judge, and immediately got Ron into treatment and resources to begin the work of healing.

He didn't have the language or framework to understand what he was experiencing. Not realizing he had PTSD for decades meant also understanding it was real and damaging.

This process is common among trauma survivors. The brain protects us by suppressing memories too painful to process, but they don’t disappear completely. They continue to live in our bodies, affecting our relationships, our mental health, and our ability to function. Therapy gave Ron permission to remember. More importantly, it gave him tools to process without being destroyed.

Embracing Therapy and Psilocybin Treatment

Ron tried multiple therapeutic approaches, including Cognitive Based Therapy and Written Talk Therapy and Written therapy helped, but it was a psilocybin treatment that created a breakthrough. He made serious progress identifying the experiences that harmed him, but still felt as though the trauma was trapped in his body for decades.

"I had a conversation with God," Ron explains. “It’s weird to talk about because I’ve not met a person yet who’s done it that can do it any justice with words."

Ron acknowledges that healing is a uniquely personal journey for everyone. What works for one person may not work for another, but the key is remaining open to different approaches and being willing to try new methods when traditional therapy plateaus. 

Written therapy allowed Ron to express thoughts he couldn't speak aloud, and psilocybin allowed him to access emotions he couldn't reach otherwise. He describes the experience as finally being able to release pain he didn't even know he was carrying, by seeing that all humans are connected and loved. The biggest lesson he took away from the hero dose session: I’m always loved, and I will always be loved.

Ron's Advocacy Mission

"Why would we go through these things if we can’t turn it into something that’s positive?" he asks, then emphasizes, "I want to help people, young men and women."

Ron now focuses on raising awareness about MST and supporting other survivors. His mission is clear: prevent the next generation of service members from experiencing the same trauma. Being silent for decades was survival in a system that punishes vulnerability. Talking openly on social media about his experience so others don't have to suffer in isolation, which results in receiving messages from people encouraged by his vulnerability to seek help.

Frequently Asked Questions about Military Sexual Trauma and Male Survivors

  • About 1 in 50 male veterans report military sexual trauma (VA National Center for PTSD), but studies using anonymous survey methodology found rates as high as 12.4% (Trauma, Violence & Abuse, 2011). The gap between reported and actual incidents reveals massive underreporting. Because of the higher ratio of men to women in the military, the raw numbers of men and women who experience MST are comparable, challenging the misconception that MST primarily affects women.

  • About 90% of men in the military did not report a sexual assault they experienced in 2021 (DAV). Overall, it's estimated that 77% of service member sexual assaults go unreported. Male survivors often worry that others will perceive the assault as weakness, femininity, or homosexual orientation. These cultural barriers, combined with fear of retaliation and career damage, make it especially difficult for male survivors to come forward.

  • MST survivors are 7.25 times more likely to be diagnosed with PTSD than those who did not experience sexual trauma (Columbia Social Work Review). The severity of PTSD from MST is extreme. This is because MST involves betrayal by trusted colleagues within a system meant to provide safety, creating compounded trauma that requires specialized treatment.

  • From 2011 to 2021, the total number of MST claims filed by men increased by more than 119%. The number of claims granted by the VA grew from 27.8% in 2011 to 68.5% in 2021 (VA Claims Insider). This shows significant progress, though it also reveals how many survivors had to fight for recognition and validation of their trauma.

  • Roughly 17 veterans die by suicide each day (VA Mental Health), and military sexual trauma puts veterans at significantly higher risk. MST survivors face compounded trauma that requires specialized support. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the Veterans Crisis Line at 988, then press 1.

  • Recent studies show that 60% of veterans with severe treatment-resistant depression who received psilocybin treatment met response criteria at three weeks. The VA announced funding for MDMA and psilocybin-assisted therapy studies in 2024, marking the first time since the 1960s that the VA has funded research on psychedelic compounds. Nine VA facilities are now participating in these studies.

  • No. You don't need a service-connected disability rating or other VA benefits to receive MST-related care. Every VA facility has an MST coordinator available to help survivors access treatment and support. Call your local VA or visit www.va.gov to connect with an MST coordinator.

Episode Trigger Warnings and Timestamps

  • 00:00 VA Disability Claim and Possible Patterns of Abuse

  • Triggering content 2:57 - 4:38 (suicide + MST statistics)

  • 06:28 Breaking Down at the VA and Confronting Buried Trauma

  • Triggering content 6:51 - 10:59  (Suicidal ideations, breakdown, remembering his repressed trauma)

  • 11:08  Ron’s Beginning Different Modalities of Therapy

  • 14:20 Ron’s Conversation with God

  • 19:48 The Relationship Between Technology, Connection, and Accountability

  • 23:30 Preview of Part 3 of Ron’s Story

Resources from this Episode

  1. The Monster Inside of Me

  2. Veterans Ranch

  3. Heroic Hearts Project

Resources for Survivors

If you or someone you know is struggling with military sexual trauma, resources are available. For additional support navigating VA claims, download our free VA Disability Toolkit.

  • VA MST Support: Every VA facility has an MST coordinator. You don't need a service-connected disability rating or other VA benefits to receive MST-related care. Call your local VA or visit www.va.gov to connect with an MST coordinator.

  • Veterans Crisis Line: Call 988, then press 1. Available 24/7 for veterans in crisis. You can also text 838255 or chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net.

  • Military OneSource: Offers confidential counseling and support for active-duty service members and their families. Call 800-342-9647 or visit MilitaryOneSource.mil

  • The Advocates of MST: By joining The Advocates, you add to a powerful collective voice that demands attention and action. Connect with others who understand your experiences and are committed to supporting each other. Find support at https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadvocatesofmst


Watch or Listen to Ron's Full Story

You can hear Part 2 of my interview with Ron Carter on The Silenced Voices of MST podcast available on all major podcast platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube. We dive deeper into his experience with the VA, his therapeutic journey, and his current advocacy work. If you haven't already, listen to Part 1 of Ron's story where he shares his assault experience and the years of undiagnosed PTSD that followed.

Healing is the end goal of military sexual trauma. You’re not alone, and you can explore more survivor stories and resources on our blog.

About the Guest

Ron Carter is a former Army infantryman turned MST advocate. After surviving a premeditated and devastating assault while on active duty, he committed himself to supporting others who have been affected. Through speaking engagements and community work, Ron pushes for better resources and policy change and uses his platform to amplify survivor voices.

About the Host

Rachelle Smith is the host of The Silenced Voices of MST and a survivor of military sexual trauma. She served as a Public Affairs Officer in the Air Force after growing up in a military family. Her experience with MST and the years spent struggling with PTSD and depression gave her a unique understanding of what survivors face. 

This podcast exists because she knew firsthand how isolating MST can be. Since launching The Silenced Voices of MST in 2023, she’s interviewed dozens of survivors, advocates, and experts. Her mission is to empower survivors by providing a space to  amplify survivor stories and demand change.

Help Keep This Podcast Going

I've been funding this podcast entirely on my own since 2023, and it hasn’t been easy. If this work has helped you or someone you care about, please consider supporting it with a monthly donation. Even $10 a month makes a real difference in covering hosting, editing, and production costs.

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Podcast Guests, army Rachelle Smith Podcast Guests, army Rachelle Smith

Military Sexual Trauma and The Monster Inside of Me: Ron Carter (Part 1) | The Silenced Voices of MST with Rachelle Smith

Military Sexual Trauma survivor Ron Carter appears on The Silenced Voices of MST to share the experiences that shaped his early service, the assault he endured, and the long-term effects that developed when the trauma went unrecognized. This interview begins a three-part series that follows his path from enlistment through MST, behavioral collapse, and his eventual understanding of PTSD outside of combat contexts. His story offers clear insight into how MST develops within military structures and how untreated trauma influences thinking, memory, relationships, and emotional regulation over decades.

Ron Carter, U.S. Army veteran and author of The Monster Inside of Me, shares his story of Military Sexual Trauma and survival on The Silenced Voices of MST with host Rachelle Smith.

U.S. Army veteran Ron Carter discusses Military Sexual Trauma, suffering from repressed pain, and survival on The Silenced Voices of MST.

U.S. Army veteran Ron Carter brings his story of Military Sexual Trauma to The Silenced Voices of MST. As the author of The Monster Inside of Me, Ron details his experience of assault, the devastating toll of silence, and the heavy price of betrayal within the system.


Ron Carter appears on The Silenced Voices of MST to share the experiences that shaped his early service, the assault he endured, and the long-term effects that developed when the trauma went unrecognized. This interview begins a three-part series that follows his path from enlistment through MST, behavioral collapse, and his eventual understanding of PTSD outside of combat contexts. His account offers clear insight into how MST develops within military structures and how untreated trauma influences thinking, memory, relationships, and emotional regulation over decades.

His Path to The Army

Ron grew up in a small town in Oregon where financial constraints made college unrealistic. He chose the Army at seventeen and entered the delayed entry program with his best friend, believing service would provide structure, stability, and a clear direction for becoming a mature adult.

Basic training introduced him to disciplined routines, intense physical demands, cultural diversity, and a level of pressure he had not experienced before. Although he passed out on his first day due to the heat, he recovered and progressed with strong performance. By excelling in physical training, Ron gained respect with some drill sergeants, and completed airborne school after graduating. These accomplishments were steps toward a promising military career.

When Ron and his friend received their orders they expected to serve together but were separated on arrival in Germany. This unexpected change intensified Ron’s sense of isolation. The unfamiliar environment, distance from home, and sudden loss of his support system made the adjustment difficult.

What Led to His Assault (Trigger Warning)

As parents, we’re trusting our children to the United States of America. That should really mean something.
— Ron Carter

Being stationed in Germany introduced Ron to culture shock and his first real experience of distance from home at 19 years old. He enjoyed the physical demands of fieldwork but disliked the constant emphasis on garrison expectations. During this period, he noticed hostile behavior from a higher ranking soldier in a different platoon, although he did not understand the cause.

The situation escalated when the platoon sergeant invited Ron and another private to what was presented as a simple gathering at his home. Ron wanted to behave respectfully and show he was a good guy, so he agreed to be there. Almost immediately after consuming a beer, he experienced sudden physical impairment and lost consciousness. He regained awareness during an assault, lost consciousness again, and later found himself back in the barracks. An aspect of his assault that sticks with him today is that he had no memory of how he had returned and never saw the other men involved again.

Ron had no way to describe what was done to him that day which contributed significantly to his confusion, aggressive behavior, and distress.

Help us continue amplifying voices of Military Sexual Trauma survivors.

Immediate Impact After the Assault

The trauma produced abrupt behavioral and emotional changes. Ron began drinking heavily, smoking hash, and getting into fights resulting in receiving multiple Article 15s. Finding himself unable to regulate his reactions, experiencing intrusive thoughts, night terrors, and unpredictable anger, Ron relied on his survival instinct to make it through daily life. Hyper-vigilance became constant, yet he did not understand why he felt disconnected from his own behavior.

Ron Carter, U.S. Army veteran and author of The Monster Inside of Me, shares his story of Military Sexual Trauma and survival on The Silenced Voices of MST with host Rachelle Smith.

U.S. Army veteran Ron Carter speaks out about Military Sexual Trauma, living in silence, and the lifelong journey to healing.

He interpreted his reactions as personal failure because no one ever explained trauma, dissociation, or survival responses in the mid-80’s. Without any knowledge of mental health, his behavior and internal chaos reinforced the shame he carried and made it increasingly difficult to function in a high-pressure environment.

The Long-Term Effects on Thought, Behavior, and Identity

Ron shares that he lived with these symptoms for many years without understanding their source. The missing  modern-day understanding of post-traumatic stress led to the assumption that the volatility, emotional distance, and reactivity he experienced reflected deep flaws in his character. Trying to suppress memories intensified their impact on his relationships, jobs, and at times his will to live.

Only later did he learn the language of trauma, emotional processing, and PTSD. He discovered that trauma can alter memory, disrupt emotional regulation, and create long-standing patterns of hypervigilance and mistrust. This allowed him to reinterpret his symptoms with clarity and accuracy.

PTSD is not only caused by combat experiences, which is something Ron learned and wants people to know. Understanding this reshaped his perception of himself, his past, and helped him identify the years of untreated trauma.

Ron’s Work Now

By sharing his story publicly, Ron’s goal is to increase awareness of MST so that parents and young people considering joining the military understand the reality of what serving can look like. His work includes advocacy, community engagement, and contributing to public education about trauma and its effects. An important aspect of his mission to help is getting survivors access to information that was unavailable during his service. 

If this podcast has helped you understand what survivors are up against, leave a review. Reviews are one of the only ways these stories reach people who would otherwise never hear them.

Episode Trigger Warnings and Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Ron Carter's Journey
02:08 Deciding to Join the Military
04:53 Basic Training Experience
07:09 Transitioning to Military Life in Germany
09:18 The Reality of Military Culture
11:06 Experiencing MST and Its Impact
Triggering content from 12:55 - 25:48 that includes discussion of being drugged, sexual assault, loss of conciousness and memory, physical assault, coerced sexual acts, and blackmail
13:31 The Aftermath of Trauma
15:45 Coping Mechanisms and Struggles
18:36 The Long Road to Healing
23:55 Understanding PTSD Beyond Combat
25:56 Part 2 of Ron’s Story Preview

Resources from this Episode

  1. The Monster Inside of Me

  2. Veterans Ranch

  3. Heroic Hearts Project

Support and Community:

  1. Veterans Crisis line: Dial 988, the press 1

  2. DoD Safe Helpline: https://www.sapr.mil/dod-safe-helpline

  3. Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadvocatesofmst


About the Guest

Ron Carter is a former Army infantryman turned MST advocate. After surviving a premeditated and devastating assault while on active duty, he committed himself to supporting others who have been affected. Through speaking engagements and community work, Ron pushes for better resources and policy change and uses his platform to amplify survivor voices.

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Podcast Guests Rachelle Smith Podcast Guests Rachelle Smith

Surviving Assault Secrets: The Stunning Repercussions For Men That Speak Up (Part 3)

Brian, a Marine Corps veteran, shares the next part of his journey from Marine to civilian in this episode. Explore the lasting impacts of military sexual trauma, PTSD, and the urgent need for support for male survivors. Read the full story and access helpful resources.

USMC veteran, Brian, shares his story in the latest episode of The Silenced Voices of MST

In the final part of this series, Brian, a Marine Corps veteran, gives us the meat and potatoes of managing PTSD, sleep, and intrusive thoughts. He credits much of his growth to guided meditations and continuously searching out new and different types of coping strategies that help him regain his power.

Brian's New Outlook on Life and Coping

Continuing his story from Part 2, Brian describes importance of meditation, finding the right therapist, and using storytelling as a tool for recovery. He also discusses the toxic culture within the military and why systemic change is necessary to protect future service members:

Trying to receive help

Pin it!

Brian explains how sleep meditation and hypnosis techniques helped him process his trauma and find a sense of calm amid the chaos. Apps like Headspace are beneficial to those who have difficulty with insomnia due to anxiety, PTSD, and intrusive thoughts that can make it next to impossible to fall or stay asleep.

Like many survivors, Brian faced roadblocks within the military and VA system when seeking acknowledgment and assistance. He discusses how victim-blaming and also having mental health providers give up on him several times made it even harder for him to make progress. But he does stress that if you need help, keep trying. You will find someone that you mesh with, it takes time with different personalities to work together and build trust and rapport in therapy.

Toxic Military Culture & Systemic Failures

Brian and Rachelle discuss how harassment, abuse, and leadership failures create a culture where MST continues to happen unchecked. Although many members of the military are ready to ignore or outright deny the experiences of lives touched by MST, it doesn’t change reality. MST is a problem, and will continue to be until we address it as a systemic issue that is deeply ingrained in military culture. Brian shares why he decided to go public with his story, despite the stigma and backlash survivors often face. He explains how telling his truth helped him reclaim his power and encourage others to do the same.

Brian urges fellow survivors to seek help, share their stories, and find community in advocacy.

Click here to explore more survivors stories.

"Holding onto trauma is like a disease—it eats away at you.”

Key Takeaways:

  • Meditation can be a powerful healing tool for MST survivors.

  • Speaking out about trauma can be liberating and empowering.

  • The military must enact systemic changes to support MST survivors.

  • Finding the right therapist is crucial—don’t stop searching until you find one that fits.

  • Every survivor’s story matters, and sharing it can help others heal.


Don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel!

Join our mailing list to learn about upcoming episodes, new resources, and daily support.


Resources:


If this episode resonates with you, please share it, comment your thoughts, and leave a review to help amplify survivor voices. Together, we can change the conversation around MST and push for meaningful reform.

🎧 Full Episode Available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/silencedvoicesmst

Part 1 of MSTy’s story will release on March 18, 2025.

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Podcast Guests Rachelle Smith Podcast Guests Rachelle Smith

Surviving Assault Secrets: The Stunning Repercussions For Men That Speak Up (Part 2)

Brian, a Marine Corps veteran, shares the next part of his journey from Marine to civilian in this episode. Explore the lasting impacts of military sexual trauma, PTSD, and the urgent need for support for male survivors. Read the full story and access helpful resources.

Brian shares his story in the latest episode of The Silenced Voices of MST

In Part 2 of this 3-part series, Brian, a Marine Corps veteran, shares what it was like to navigate life after separating from the Marine Corps. He goes to college, tries to cope through partying, drinking, and promiscuity and doesn’t tell a soul that he’s a veteran. After landing a job with Jose Cuervo, he has a mental break that leads to him finding a magazine article that changes his life prior to leaving for China to rediscover himself. He explores finding his love of storytelling and expresses frustration with the lack of progress made by science in support of finding a treatment method for people with debilitating PTSD. Brian opens up about the struggles he faced after leaving the military, including the relentless grip of PTSD, the battle to be heard, and how he found strength in writing and advocacy.

Brian's Journey: From Dishonorable Discharge to Medically Retired

Picking up from where he left off in Part 1, Brian talks about the immediate aftermath, how his discharge affected his ability to get vital mental health care, and the lack of support he encountered after word spread among his peers. It was nearly impossible for him to seek justice, leaving him to process his trauma on his own. He earned the nickname “Blackout King” in college and hid the fact that he was a veteran from everyone and speaks about finding unhealthy coping mechanisms, including:

  • Substance use – Numbing the pain through alcohol and other substances.

  • Self-destructive behaviors – Using promiscuity as a means of dealing with what happened

Trying to receive help

Pin it!

One of the most difficult battles Brian faced was not just recovering from trauma and unhealthy coping, but fighting for his experience to be acknowledged. He details the legal and bureaucratic hurdles that male MST survivors face when they seek recognition and support.

He shares his frustrations with the military’s reluctance to acknowledge male survivors and finally seeing that he was not alone in an article from GQ, titled “Son, Men Don’t Get Raped”. The article mirrored how MST, being improperlty discharged, and stigma impacts not only mental health care access but also disability claims and post-service support. This segment highlights the systemic failures that leave survivors without the help they desperately need.

Why Men’s Voices Matter

One of the major struggles for male MST survivors is finding therapy that actually works. Brian discusses the lack of specialized care for male survivors, the stigma of seeking help, and how many veterans are dismissed or misdiagnosed.

He shares how he eventually found therapists who understood his experience, and how trauma-focused therapy, meditation, and support groups played a role in his healing journey. Brian also calls out the lack of research and resources dedicated to male survivors of MST. He discusses:

  • The gaps in mental health services for veterans.

  • The need for better education about the true extent and definition of PTSD

  • The lack of research on military sexual trauma and PTSD that actually heals those who suffer

He stresses that change will happen if more survivors feel empowered to speak.

Click here to explore more survivors stories.

Brian notes that male survivors are often overlooked and underrepresented in conversations about sexual violence. He talks about the challenges of breaking through societal stigma and why it’s crucial for men to share their experiences.

"I found my path in storytelling..” – Brian

Key Takeaways:

  • Brian illustrates the struggles many veterans face after leaving the military when they've been harmed and are not discharged under honorable conditions

  • The importance of finding a voice for male survivors of sexual assault is crucial.

  • Coping mechanisms can vary widely, and what works for one may not work for another.

  • Storytelling can be a powerful tool for healing and advocacy.

  • Brian's experience with the legal system highlights the challenges faced by veterans seeking justice.

  • The need for societal recognition of male sexual assault survivors is urgent.

  • Cultural rituals and ceremonies can play a significant role in healing for veterans.

  • Mental health treatment is often a long and challenging process for veterans.

  • Brian's transition to storytelling reflects a broader need for veterans to share their experiences.

  • The fight for recognition and support for veterans with PTSD due to MST continues.

Join our mailing list to learn about upcoming episodes, new resources, and daily support.

Resources:


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Podcast Guests Rachelle Smith Podcast Guests Rachelle Smith

Surviving Assault Secrets: The Stunning Repercussions For Men That Speak Up

Brian, a Marine Corps veteran, shares his journey from soldier to sexual assault survivor in this powerful episode. Explore the lasting impacts of military sexual trauma, PTSD, and the urgent need for support for male survivors. Read the full story and access helpful resources.

Brian shares his story in the latest episode of The Silenced Voices of MST

When we think of masculinity and military strength, the first image that pops into most people’s minds is a guy in the Marine Corps. Their motto says it all: The few. The proud. The Marines. It’s iconic, and so many young men and women respond to that message by enlisting or commissioning into the toughest service in the nation. But what happens more often than not is our blindness to the battles that men and women suffer in uniform among their peers. The amount of harassment and bullying is overlooked, and something like Military Sexual Trauma is hidden deeply away behind stoic facades and messages of honor and camaraderie.

In Part 1 of this deeply moving three-part series, Brian, a Marine Corps veteran, shares his journey from proud infantryman to survivor of sexual trauma and PTSD. His story gives us a look at the hidden experiences of male survivors in the military and the long-term repercussions of not only being victimized, but also speaking out and trying to receive help.

Brian's Journey: From Musician to Marine

Brian’s path to joining the Marines was similar to many that I’ve heard. It was a way to pay for school and his future musical aspirations, and military service was a family tradition. And although Brian had never felt pushed or encouraged to join by his family, a feeling of restlessness and boredom led him to a recruiter’s office at the age on 19, even after a friend warned him about joining. After a rough start and becoming fully immersed in USMC culture, he found himself and had a grueling, yet transformative experience while away at boot camp. Camaraderie, discipline, and feeling like he finally found his purpose shaped Brian, to the point that he excitedly called his parents one night saying, “This is what I want to do with my life.” But one serious injury and a night soon after changed his life forever.

What was supposed to be a night of NBA finals and letting off steam with a friend in San Diego, turned into a horrifying nightmare experience for both. Following their assaults, nothing was the same. Brian found himself isolated, bullied, and battling his mental health with little to no support. That led to trying to cope, by any means necessary… even career-ending ones.

Facing Harassment and Isolation

Pin it!

After reporting the assault, Brian found himself in a worse situation than he could have ever imagined. Instead of providing relief, his words opened the door to constant harassment and ridicule from fellow Marines, men who were supposed to be his brothers in arms. Almost instantly, he was ostracized in a place that once felt like it had become home. This response, no matter how common, is tragic. The stigma that persists in “traditionally male environments” like the Infantry, toward male victims remains a driving force as to why more men do not come forward for help after incidents like these. Many suffer in silence, because the alternative is even worse.

Another run-in with law enforcement led to Brian facing a Medical Evaluation Board and Physical Evaluation Board process. Despite his trauma, he remained unsupported, even while navigating the difficult processes. This led to career-ending coping methods, and an Other than Honorable discharge from service, which further impacted his life, long after he hung up the uniform.

Why Men’s Voices Matter

Brian’s story is not just about his personal trauma but a broader conversation about the barriers male survivors face when speaking out. By sharing his story, Brian hopes to encourage other men to seek help and impress upon listeners the importance of creating safe spaces for survivors.

Click here to explore more survivors stories.

Key Takeaways:

  • Brian, a writer, producer, and Marine Corps veteran, shares his journey through trauma, isolation, and recovery.

  • His experience underscores the stigma surrounding male survivors of sexual assault, particularly within the military.

  • Brian faced harassment and isolation after reporting his assault, reflecting the cultural challenges in addressing sexual trauma among men.

  • His struggle with PTSD and substance use emphasizes the urgent need for better mental health resources for veterans.

Watch Part 1 on YouTube

In Part 1, Brian shares his profound journey from being a Marine Corps infantryman to a survivor of sexual trauma and PTSD. He discusses his initial motivations for joining the military, the transformative experiences during boot camp, and the life-altering incident that led to his struggles with mental health, unhealthy coping skills, and disillusionment with the Marine Corps. Brian frankly recounts the challenges he faced, including isolation, harassment, and the difficulties in seeking help after his discharge.

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Part 2 of Brian’s story will release on March 4, 2025.

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