Military Sexual Trauma: Why Accountability Is the Proven Solution

Military Sexual Trauma won't stop with awareness campaigns alone. In this episode of The Silenced Voices of MST, expert Chuck Derry, founder of The Gender Violence Institute, shares 40 years of research proving accountability is the only solution that works.

Chuck Derry, founder of The Gender Violence Institute, shares his extensive experience in addressing gender violence, offering insights into its cultural roots, the importance of accountability, and the personal reflections necessary for achieving true equality. This episode describes Derry's work and perspectives, providing a comprehensive overview of his approach to combating abuse and enacting cultural change.

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Content Warning: This episode and article discuss gender violence, domestic violence, sexual assault, Military Sexual Trauma, abuse dynamics, and systemic failures in addressing violence. Please engage with this content when you feel safe and supported.

In episode 43 of The Silenced Voices of MST, Chuck Derry, founder of The Gender Violence Institute, shares his extensive experience in addressing gender violence, offering insights into its cultural roots, the importance of accountability, and the personal reflections necessary for fostering equality. He has worked to end men's violence against women since 1983 which resulted in co-founded the Gender Violence Institute in 1994. His decades of experience offer critical insights for those working to address Military Sexual Trauma, as the dynamics he documented in civilian domestic violence cases mirror what happens in military systems where sexual assault thrives.

Chuck Derry: 40 Years of Proven Gender Violence Prevention Research

Chuck Derry, with over 40 years of experience since 1983, discusses his transformative journey in gender violence intervention. Initially, he worked with feminist women to combat men's violence against women, an experience that profoundly shaped his understanding. Derry emphasizes that 95% of his knowledge comes from learning from women, while the remaining 5% is based on his experiences as a white male growing up in Minnesota, navigating sexist and racist societal norms. His approach centers on accountability, cultural change, and the willingness of individuals to examine their own complicity in systems that perpetuate violence.

How Gender Violence Begins: Cultural Roots of Violence Against Women

Initially, Derry reflects on his early experiences and realizations about gender dynamics. He recalls understanding at a young age that being a girl was considered the worst thing, influencing his behavior to align with perceived masculine ideals. He shares an anecdote from Catholic school where boys would expose girls' underwear. Adults saw it happen and did nothing. The message was clear that boys were more important than girls.

Derry points out that statistics show girls in the U.S. face a one in three chance of being beaten by a partner and a one in two chance of being sexually assaulted. These statistics are an unsettling reminder of the pervasive cultural issues that begin in childhood and continue throughout life. The normalization of disrespect and violence toward girls creates a foundation for the gender violence that persists in adulthood and globally across institutions, including the military.

Military Sexual Assault: How Military Culture Protects Perpetrators

The conversation shifts to the military, where values of honor and integrity coexist with significant problems of sexual assault. Rachelle shares a personal experience of sexual assault at a VFW, remembering how deeply ingrained cultural norms can override stated values. She notes that even when incidents are reported, varying definitions of consent among jurors in military courts can alter outcomes. Accountability must be consistently adhered to, rather than relying on subjective interpretations that often favor perpetrators.

The contradiction between military values and the reality of sexual assault rates is evidence of a structural problem. Systems that center male power often protect male violence. The burden falls on survivors to prove what happened, while perpetrators benefit from doubt, confusion, and institutional protection.

Proven Accountability Program: How the Duluth Model Changes Abusive Behavior

The 24-week program Chuck led was designed to address abusive behavior. Men ordered to participate must acknowledge their violence and understand the power and control dynamics involved. The program uses the Duluth Power and Control Wheel, requiring men to log instances of physical and emotional abuse, intimidation, and other controlling behaviors.

Battering is one form of domestic or intimate partner violence. It is characterized by the pattern of actions that an individual uses to intentionally control or dominate his intimate partner. That is why the words “power and control” are in the center of the wheel. A batterer systematically uses threats, intimidation, and coercion to instill fear in his partner. These behaviors are the spokes of the wheel. Physical and sexual violence holds it all together—this violence is the rim of the wheel. (Duluth Model)

The Duluth Model's Power and Control Wheel is a tool developed in the 1980s through focus groups with female survivors. Women compiled lists of the types of abuse most commonly used against them. The wheel helps survivors step back and see the full scope of violence they have experienced. It gives them language to name what happened. For many survivors, that validation changes everything.

Derry is careful to note that participants were initially resistant, often minimizing, denying, and blaming. However, the structured accountability led to significant changes. The consequences, enforced by the criminal justice system, probation officers, and community support, were essential to deterring abusive behavior.

Why Perpetrators Continue Violence: Understanding the Benefits of Abuse

One experience in particular stood out most in this program. Chuck Derry spent years sitting across from men who had been court-ordered into his program after harming their partners. He asked them to do something most had never done: list the benefits they got from their violence.

At first, they resisted. Then they filled a four-by-eight-foot blackboard.

The list included advantages such as maintaining control, gaining money, avoiding change, dictating reality, determining what values their kids would have, controlling where their partner went and who they talked to, and deciding when and how sex happened. The list went on for hours. This exercise, conducted in the 1980s and 90s as part of a structured accountability program in Minnesota, revealed something that survivors already knew but systems refused to acknowledge. Violence works for perpetrators until someone makes it stop.

These deep-seated reasons why men perpetuate abusive behavior, even if they themselves are not abusive. The difficulties in relinquishing these perceived benefits is what perpetuates “looking the other way” or not speaking up against it. Understanding these benefits is crucial for developing effective intervention strategies.

Military Sexual Trauma Prevention: Why Accountability Is the Missing Piece

Accountability is crucial in preventing MST. Consequences, enforced by the criminal justice system, probation officers, and community support, were essential to deterring abusive behavior in his program. He shares that men who were kicked out of the program for not taking responsibility often returned, admitting they could no longer get away with it.

The Pentagon nearly doubled its sexual assault prevention budget to more than $1 billion in 2023 and 2024. They established new offices to prosecute cases outside the traditional chain of command. They hired about 1,400 trained prevention specialists to serve at bases around the globe. However, while 8,195 sexual assaults were reported in 2024, independent research estimates the actual number may be 2-4 times higher. Dr. Jennifer Greenburg's research estimated approximately 73,695 cases of sexual assault in the military in 2023, nearly nine times the number of official reports.

The gap between what happens and what gets reported reveals everything about the lack of accountability. Derry's work identified the two factors most strongly associated with men who perpetrate violence: childhood experiences of abuse and witnessing violence, and attitudes related to gender equity. He also identified what keeps violence going: impunity. When perpetrators face no consequences, they have no reason to stop. The benefits outweigh the risks. The behavior continues because it works. Awareness campaigns and training modules alone cannot stop sexual assault. Accountability through consequences and other men speaking up and influencing other men stops it.

Gender Equality: What Men Must Sacrifice to End Violence Against Women

Derry reflects on the personal sacrifices required to achieve true equality. He questions whether men are willing to give up the benefits and privileges they receive in a sexist culture. This includes confronting male bonding over objectification, stopping the use of pornography, listening to women, and relinquishing leadership positions if necessary.

The list includes things men rarely talk about, such as male bonding over objectification, pornography use, dominating conversations, holding leadership positions they are not qualified for simply because they are men, controlling household decisions, and dictating when and how sex happens. The benefits of sexism are real, tangible, and daily.

Giving them up requires more than good intentions. It requires confronting how deeply those benefits are woven into identity, relationships, and career advancement. In military contexts, this means confronting how sexual violence functions as a tool of dominance and control, how it reinforces hierarchies, how it silences dissent, and how it maintains power structures that benefit some service members at the expense of others.

Derry challenges men to consider what kind of human being they want to be and whether they care about the lives of others. The ratio of learning from women versus his own experience matters, because it tells us who holds expertise, whose voices should lead prevention efforts, and why survivor-centered approaches work and top-down institutional responses fail.

How Military Sexual Trauma Survivors Can Demand Accountability

Chuck Derry's decades of work in gender violence intervention offers a clear roadmap for addressing Military Sexual Trauma. Violence works for perpetrators until someone makes it stop. Awareness campaigns, training modules, and billion-dollar budgets cannot replace genuine accountability. Systems must create and enforce real consequences for perpetrators while centering survivor voices and experiences.

For survivors of MST, your story holds expertise that no institutional training can replicate. Your insistence on accountability is not asking too much. You deserve justice, support, and systems that prioritize your safety over institutional reputation. The work of creating change requires all of us to examine our complicity in systems that protect perpetrators and to demand better from our military institutions.

Resources for Veterans Seeking Help

If you are a Military Sexual Trauma survivor, The Silenced Voices of MST offers several free resources and tools to support your journey:

• VA Disability Toolkit: A free resource built to help you organize the VA claim process with tips and strategies from those who have successfully navigated the system. Document your trauma, track your claim, and organize every detail for a stronger case.

• Contact Your Lawmaker Toolkit: Make your voice heard in Congress. This toolkit allows you to easily and safely contact members of Congress about MST-related legislation, military reform, or your personal experiences with templates and state-specific lookup.

• The Advocates of MST Private Facebook Group: Join a safe, private community where survivors can connect, share experiences, and access peer support without fear of retaliation or judgment.

• Crisis Support: If you are in crisis, please reach out:

  • Veterans Crisis Line: Call 988 and press 1, or text 838255

  • National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (RAINN)

  • DoD Safe Helpline for Military Sexual Assault: 1-877-995-5247

Episode Chapters and Timestamps

• 00:00 Meet Chuck Derry, Founder of The Gender Violence Institute

• 03:48 Childhood Memories of Cultural Behavior Towards Girls and Women

• 05:49 Military Culture and Rachelle's SA at the VFW

• 10:15 The 24-Week Program That Successfully Changed Behavior

• 12:07 The Benefits of Abusive Behavior

• 16:01 The Missing Piece in Prevention of MST

• 17:54 Chuck's Reflections on Life if Equality Actually Happened

Frequently Asked Questions

• What is the Duluth Model Power and Control Wheel?

  The Duluth Model Power and Control Wheel is a tool developed in the 1980s through focus groups with female survivors of domestic violence. Women compiled lists of the types of abuse most commonly used against them. The wheel helps survivors understand the full scope of violence they have experienced by identifying patterns of physical violence, emotional abuse, intimidation, isolation, economic abuse, and other controlling behaviors. It gives survivors language to name what happened to them.

• Why do perpetrators of violence continue their abusive behavior?

  Perpetrators continue abusive behavior because it provides tangible benefits and they face no consequences. The benefits include maintaining control over others, gaining financial advantages, avoiding personal change, dictating reality in relationships, determining family values, controlling where partners go and who they talk to, and deciding when and how sex happens. When there is no accountability, the benefits outweigh any risks, so the behavior continues.

• What cultural factors contribute to gender violence?

  Cultural factors that contribute to gender violence include societal norms that devalue girls and women from childhood. Boys learn early that being a girl is considered inferior, which shapes attitudes and behaviors. Adult inaction when boys mistreat girls reinforces the message that boys matter more than girls. Statistics show that girls in the U.S. face a one in three chance of being beaten by a partner and a one in two chance of being sexually assaulted. These cultural patterns begin in childhood and persist throughout life.

• What would men have to give up to achieve gender equality?

  Achieving gender equality would require men to give up significant benefits and privileges. This includes male bonding over objectification of women, pornography use, dominating conversations, holding leadership positions they are not qualified for simply because they are men, controlling household decisions, and dictating when and how sex happens. These benefits are woven into male identity, relationships, and career advancement. Giving them up requires more than good intentions. It requires confronting complicity in systems that perpetuate inequality.

• What role does accountability play in preventing Military Sexual Trauma?

  Accountability is the crucial missing piece in preventing Military Sexual Trauma. Without real consequences for perpetrators, sexual assault continues because it serves the perpetrator's interests. Awareness campaigns and training programs alone cannot stop sexual assault. Systems must create meaningful consequences that are consistently enforced through the criminal justice system, command structures, and community support. When perpetrators face genuine accountability, they can no longer get away with their actions.

• How many sexual assaults actually occur in the military compared to reported numbers?

  The gap between actual sexual assaults and reported cases in the military is significant. While 8,195 sexual assaults were reported in 2024, independent research estimates the actual number may be 2-4 times higher. Dr. Jennifer Greenburg's research estimated approximately 73,695 cases of sexual assault in the military in 2023, which is nearly nine times the number of official reports. This gap reveals the lack of accountability and trust in military reporting systems.

• Why do most Military Sexual Trauma survivors not report their assault?

  Survivors do not report for several reasons. Many want to forget about the assault and move on. They do not want more people to know what happened. They feel ashamed or embarrassed. Among servicewomen who did report, 38 percent experienced professional reprisal, 51 percent experienced ostracism, and 34 percent experienced maltreatment. The consequences of reporting fall on survivors rather than perpetrators, which discourages reporting.

• How effective are accountability programs for people who commit domestic violence?

  Accountability programs can be effective when they require participants to acknowledge their violence, understand power and control dynamics, and face consistent consequences. The 24-week program that Chuck Derry helped develop required men to log instances of abuse and understand the Duluth Model. Initially, participants minimized, denied, and blamed. However, structured accountability enforced by the criminal justice system, probation officers, and community support led to significant behavioral changes. Men who were removed from the program for not taking responsibility often returned later, admitting they could no longer get away with their behavior.

• What is The Gender Violence Institute?

  The Gender Violence Institute was co-founded by Chuck Derry in 1994. The organization works to end gender violence through an approach that recognizes the connections between violence, power, and privilege. The Institute engages in community organizing, policy development, education, and training. Their work emphasizes that individual behavior change alone cannot end sexual assault. Systems and cultures must change, and consequences for perpetrators must be real and consistent.

• How does military culture contribute to sexual assault?

  Military culture contributes to sexual assault when stated values of honor and integrity coexist with systems that protect perpetrators. Deeply ingrained cultural norms can override stated values. Varying definitions of consent among jurors in military courts can alter outcomes. Systems that center male power often protect male violence. Sexual violence functions as a tool of dominance and control, reinforces hierarchies, silences dissent, and maintains power structures that benefit some service members at the expense of others.

About the Guest

Chuck Derry is the founder of The Gender Violence Institute. Since 1983, he has worked to end men's violence against women through accountability programs, community organizing, policy development, and education. His approach centers on understanding the cultural roots of gender violence and creating systems that hold perpetrators accountable while supporting survivors.

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About the Host

Rachelle Smith is an Air Force veteran, MST survivor, and the founder of The Silenced Voices of MST, an advocacy platform focused on Military Sexual Trauma. With a background in Communications and a distinguished career as a US Air Force Public Affairs Officer, Rachelle is committed to amplifying the voices of survivors and demanding accountability from institutions that have failed them.

After years of struggling in silence, Rachelle created The Silenced Voices of MST to help this long-ignored community document their truth, speak out, and fight for future service members. The platform offers the VA Disability Toolkit, the Contact Your Lawmaker Toolkit, guided trauma recovery journals, and leads The Advocates of MST, a private Facebook support group.

Through her podcast, Rachelle provides a safe space for MST survivors to share their stories, access resources, and find community. Her work centers on visibility, support, and accountability for Military Sexual Trauma survivors worldwide.

Connect with Rachelle: silencedvoicesmst.com | Email: info@silencedvoicesmst.com

• Episode Trancript

  Chuck Derry (00:00)

  we first started working with batterers in 80s, we thought, oh, these guys just didn't have the life skills they need to address their emotions, or they lost control, And then we find out they'd use those life skills as a more sophisticated way to

  And that's when we realized this is very conscious behavior. They know exactly what they're doing.

  Chuck Derry with the Gender Violence Institute in Clearwater, Minnesota. I've been doing this work since 1983, 41 years. I was 27 when I started. And it was amazing. It transformed my I started working with feminist women to end men's violence against women and just blew me away.

  And 95 % of what I share, I learn from women. as a guy, I'm always expected to be the % of what I share with you, learned from women. And the other 5 % is what I'll share about just being a white boy in Minnesota growing up and US and the sexist, racist stuff that.

  was embedded into my bones.

  Rachelle Smith (01:11)

  Yeah, and unfortunately that's just a part of American culture and we got a long way to go in changing all of that. what were the things that came to pass in your life that led to starting this institute?

  Chuck Derry (01:23)

  Well, in my early 20s, I was doing roofing and carpentry. And my wife at the time got a job in St. Cloud at the women's shelter, battered women's shelter. And I knew carpentry wasn't quite what I wanted to do with my life. So I kind of put it up to the universe for what could happen next and show me a path and

  we moved st cloud and a friend of some friends of mine started the St. Cloud Intervention Project which is based off intervention project and it was really getting criminal justice system to do something about men abusing women and part of that was guys would be arrested they have jail time over the head and then they have come twenty four week accountability groups and they were looking for somebody to facilitate these accountability groups

  So I went in there and here's how high the bar was. This is 83. The guy before me, asked him, so what do you think about sexism? He said, sex, I like sex. Sex is good. So I knew what sexism was. That's how I got hired. Because I knew it's, that's how high the bar was. Because in the US, we're just starting to work with men who batter. and I thought, this would be interesting, but it totally transformed my

  Rachelle Smith (02:22)

  boy.

  Chuck Derry (02:35)

  started working in this feminist women's organization, I thought I was a pretty nice guy. didn't think I was very racist and stuff. And then I found out my big toe was sexist. It wasn't just this little attitude, it was bone deep. And so it's very amazing how much it challenged me about my male privilege. And then also challenged me about, I care about women's lives? What kind of human being do I wanna be? And then also working within the system, the male system.

  To get them to actually arrest men who are beating and raping their wives and children. Because that wasn't happening. every lie I was told about girls and women, they're stupid, they're emotional, they're weak, was all revealed to me. doing this work. And it's just been amazing. I've worked with amazing women. And I've been a very, very lucky, man.

  Rachelle Smith (03:19)

  just, I can't imagine how sobering that must've been there's this entire, web or blanket or whatever you want to call it. That's thrown over men's eyes. to where they can't really see us as people, unfortunately.

  Chuck Derry (03:37)

  a, yeah, that's why it transformed my life. I was so lucky to be with women who would debate me.

  about sexism, they'd argue with me, they'd even be willing to get angry with me rather than just blow me off.

  I was just really lucky.

  there's all kinds of stories I can tell about, okay, how this impacted how I with friends and towards girls and

  what I grew up with.

  Worst thing I'd be in first grade, was six years old. I realized I was going to a little Catholic school and then.

  I realized the worst thing I could be is a girl.

  throw a ball-like girl or a run-like Anything like a girl. That's how I knew I was the right kind of boy. I looked around my world in 60s. The men were in charge everywhere. so I'm six years old. Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out if the worst thing I'd be as a girl, then boys are better than girls. ⁓ duh. And then how do we change our behavior with the girls when we thought we were better? And I'll give you one example. In second grade, I was in Catholic school.

  and we had to wear uniforms. So the girls had to wear dresses down to their ankles and we had to wear ties. At recess, we'd run after the girls and we'd grab their dresses and we'd say, Tuesday, dress up day. And we'd throw their dresses up in the air so we could see their underwear. They had polka dots on their underwear or butterflies. Oh, we'd be rolling around on the ground laughing and they'd be going, get out of here, leave me alone. Which was part of the fun. the girls all started coming to school with culottes. What we called culottes in those days, they were shorts.

  to school wearing shorts underneath their dresses because of what the boys are doing. And there were adults in that playground who had to have seen this and did nothing. As they just went, will be boys, boys are enjoying themselves, okay, they're more important than the girls, apparently. So, I mean,

  The cultural stuff the stats I've seen is if you're born a girl child in US, you have a one in three chance of being beaten by the man you're in relationship with, the Center for Disease Control came out with a research last year that said if you're born a girl child in the United States, you have a one in two chance of being sexually assaulted.

  the women we know, one of women in our family, one of women we work with. and it's men who are beating and raping these women. And that many men could not be beating and raping this many women without widespread cultural support.

  How do we change these cultural norms to stop it before it starts?

  Rachelle Smith (05:49)

  it's just this reality that we have to face that is baked into our culture, like you said, and our military service, it's like 1 % of Americans serve. we're in this.

  much smaller environment where these behaviors become readily apparent. But when you're in basic training and they're putting all the military values in you it's honor, it's integrity, it's look out for the person on your left and right, it's, protecting people. it just somehow does not translate once you

  get to tech school or your duty station and some people they don't even get to the part where they get the values and basic like they're just trying to take their ASVAB and go to MEPS and the unthinkable happens to them. even just a few weekends ago. I was sexually assaulted again and

  I didn't even realize it. I went to a VFW in, Tampa area, let's say. I walked in, wolf whistles immediately, that sorts of stuff. the commander of the place was like, well, you know how they are. I paid the sponsorship fee and he gave me a tour

  the men that were catcalling when I walked in, were leaving. the VFW is a big bar, so everybody in there is drinking. he was showing me a mural outside and we were walking back around and these two men were like, are you coming back? yeah, sure, I'll be back. Like, didn't think anything of that. And one man just looks me up and down, undressing me with his eyeballs. he says, well, I'll be in the front

  I didn't know what to say to that. So I just didn't say anything. I go inside, the commander's apologizing profusely. he's just saying, you set off a lot of people when you walked in here. I was like, I set off. Okay. so I sit with another young woman and

  she's sharing stories about all the people in there. My boyfriend gets done with work most of them think he's my husband and I'm not gonna correct them at this point. maybe if someone shows ownership over me, they'll leave me alone, which is frustrating. another man comes over and he has this big blue Trump hat on.

  He's like, what service are you in? And I like, Air Force. And he goes, sister, and gives me a big hug, which was expected. people are very familial when it comes to their particular service. that part wasn't sexual assault. It was the kiss on the neck that followed when he saw that my boyfriend was ordering. then it was the second kiss on the neck that happened again, maybe 15 minutes later when my boyfriend was turned.

  speaking to someone else. in that moment, I'm like, okay, do I push this person to the ground and make a scene? Or do I just leave it alone because I'm in here to do outreach for my podcast. I went with the latter the commander saw the second one and he took my boyfriend and I on a

  tour of the place again, just to get us away from that individual and he's apologizing the whole time. that happened on a Sunday and on Tuesday, cause it was Labor Day weekend, told my coworker about it and she's a Navy veteran. And she was like, Rachelle, you just got sexually assaulted again. And it was like,

  holy shit, you're right. it did not even register to me that that had happened until someone else pointed it out to me because I think I've been so desensitized to adjust from being re-traumatized so many times.

  I was able to process it But the funny thing was, was last week I ran into the young woman that I was sitting next to at the VFW She was actually sitting two seats behind me at a baseball game and she texted me and she introduced me to the group of folks she was with. she was saying let's say this guy's name was Dale.

  She was like, yeah, we were doing our best to keep Dale away from her. that made me look at her funny because if you know someone behaves like this frequently enough, why are they still here? But that is our entire military culture. And then that is our entire, entire global culture. And that's infuriating.

  Chuck Derry (10:09)

  And when you're in a culture like, a sexist culture like this,

  Rachelle Smith (10:09)

  Mm-hmm.

  Chuck Derry (10:13)

  we can get away with a lot of things.

  Rachelle Smith (10:15)

  but I do want what this 24 week program was like for.

  the men that had to participate.

  Chuck Derry (10:22)

  they were ordered to participate and they had to acknowledge and accept responsibility for their violence. And you're familiar with the power and control wheel from Duluth? the hub is power and control and then the rubber on the wheel is sexual and domestic violence. there's all kinds of

  intimidation, emotional abuse, et cetera, et we would have the men have to log out all the different ways that they abuse Both physical, one week, and then next week would be how to use intimidation. The next week would be how to use emotional abuse, and they'd have to come back and we'd have discussions, and then we'd just go on that way. Now, the thing about it too is that the men were very resistant, right?

  minimize, deny, and blame

  we first started working with batterers in 80s, we thought, oh, these guys just didn't have the life skills they need to address their emotions, or they lost control, And then we find out we'd be teaching life skills, and they'd use those life skills as a more sophisticated way to control her. the women in Duluth, Minnesota came out with the power and control Victims talking about their reality.

  And that's when we realized this is very conscious behavior. They know exactly what they're doing.

  so it was interesting to facilitate that group.

  the first time I asked the guys in group, I said, guys, so tell me, what are the benefits of your violence? And they all kind of looked at each other, which was really notable, right? Well, and one guy said, there are no benefits. I said, well, you must be something out of it. Otherwise, why would you do it? looked at each other again, and then one guy started talking about the benefits.

  and then they all start talking. And then I filled a four foot by eight foot blackboard of all the benefits of their violence and we ran out of space. first time I did that, I looked at that board, I said, my God, Why would you give it up?

  Rachelle Smith (12:07)

  I do have the article that you had written about writing down

  the benefits that were on the four foot walls. I wanted to read a few of she won't argue. She'll get out of your way so that you can go out. You can get money, keeps the relationship going because she's too scared to leave, power, don't have to change for her, total control and decision making.

  She's scared and can't confront me. She's an object. Bragging rights. If she works, I get her money. Or I can get her to quit so she can take care of the house. She's a nursemaid. Supper on the table. Don't have to listen to her complaints for not letting her know stuff. She works for me. I don't have to help out. And it goes on and on and on.

  with what you said, like, who would give that up? Who really would? it's incredible to see it all lined up like that. How did it feel writing one thing after on the board like that when these men were being open and honest for once?

  Chuck Derry (12:59)

  Yeah.

  Oh it was amazing most amazing thing is we ran out of space on a four foot by eight foot blackboard that's the most amazing they were still going and we didn't have any more space to write down there were so many benefits it blew me away the first time I did it and still every time I'm looking at

  I get to dictate reality. I answer to nobody, do what I want, when I want, with who I want. Anyway, the first time writing it down, was just like, my God. I was so happy that they were sharing it. I was so happy that they were being honest about it. So that was Because it really clarified. why men hang on to sexism, men who are not abusive.

  they don't want to give up the sexism because they have to give up some the benefits could just be like telling a joke about a woman's body, like what I like to do to it, right? Or anti-woman stuff. And there's a lot of male bonding that goes on around sexual objectification

  of women and anti-woman,

  But if we had a man who was in week 16 of 24-week program, and he was still denying his violence and still blaming her and minimizing it, we would kick him out of the group. And we had agreements with the criminal justice system, with probation and the prosecutors, that if he was kicked out, he would do some jail time, because he'd have time hanging over his head.

  then they send him back to the same group so he couldn't manipulate a new facilitator. Had to come back to the same group same facilitator so they'd leave they do ten days they come back and they'd be there for us week six week eight and they're taking full responsibility for their violence fully acknowledging and not blaming her and i'd ask 'em so tell me jim what what happened

  What's going on? when you were here before, were just denying it blaming her all the time, and now you're just taking full responsibility. How come? He said, because I know I can't get away with it anymore.

  after man after man. 10 years. I know I can't get away with it because he was being held accountable by the criminal justice system. And that's because the St. Cloud Intervention Project was holding them accountable as well. Because we would track and monitor every case. We wrote policies that they had to sign, right? So they're liable. So the prosecutors, sheriff, police chief, probation.

  judges, everything. we were able to track and monitor. then I knew if kicked a guy out in week 16, he's coming back. Every time they said, because I know I can't get away with it anymore. And so that was a key point.

  I thought, okay, I'm gonna ask them, okay guys, why would you give it up? And we filled a one foot by one foot space. I got arrested, orders for protection.

  My adult children won't invite me to their weddings anymore and I have to come to groups like this. that was when I fully, fully understood the benefits of this violence and how important consequences are. has to be accountability and part of that accountability is consequences. again, like I said, the guys come back and say, I know I can't get away with it anymore.

  Does that answer your question?

  Rachelle Smith (16:19)

  absolutely because my goal with this podcast is to end the problem sexual trauma. accountability is the solution. that just seems to keep getting sidestepped.

  year after year. So to hear that coming from an expert, like, hello, military, if you're listening, because they're very big on performative things, we signed the white ribbon pledge and we had a stand down day and we're doing more briefings or first time airmen

  joining the Air Force and getting to their first base. They're like, well, they had like a SARC briefing where they talked about emotions and boundaries and this and that. but where is the accountability piece? Where are the people going to prison? Where is the punishment? recently a two star general was charged with a number of things from, sexual harassment, flying while drunk.

  ⁓ all sorts of stuff. They got him guilty on everything, but actually sexually assaulting a lieutenant colonel. she was coerced because she was like, I can't, this, person's as far above me in the rank structure. So obviously that's not consent, but the military, even though it's in black and white in the, uniform code of military justice, the

  people that are, I forget what they call the jurors in a court martial, but every single one of them has a different definition of what consent is. And that changes the outcome when someone has committed a crime.

  Chuck Derry (17:46)

  Yeah.

  And so we have to hold them accountable and provide consequences. And we also have to do primary prevention.

  a lot of times people think you gotta raise awareness on men to get them to change. I was 17 years Northwestern Minnesota in a town of 2500, Roseau, Minnesota, 10 miles south of Canada, and the women's libs was going on then This is 1973. And I thought to myself for the first time, I'm 17, I had long hair, what are the few...

  dozen guys in town had long hair in those days. I thought to myself, Chuck, what would it mean to you personally if men and women were really equal? And within two minutes I had the answer. I'd have to give some stuff up. Then I thought, nah, I don't think so. And I was a nice guy. And now I had more aware to what a good deal it was in a sexist culture to be a man because we are so benefited.

  Rachelle Smith (18:30)

  Mm.

  Chuck Derry (18:42)

  And so that's part of it when working with abusers. Are you willing to give up the benefits? And working with men in general, that was a big challenge for me doing this work. Am I willing to give up all the benefits I have, all the privileges I have being a white guy, but being a man? Am I willing to give up those privileges? And the privileges I can't give up, am I willing to use those to undermine sexism?

  Rachelle Smith (19:02)

  moments of reflection and then truly understanding where your values lie are so important your development as a human being, whether you're going to be an all right kind of human being or someone that actually has empathy and understands there's a whole world outside of yourself.

  Chuck Derry (19:19)

  had to go,

  am I willing to stop that bonding? Am I willing to confront my male friends and my brothers,

  Chances are I'm gonna lose a friend or two if I confront them about telling sexist jokes. come on, we're just kidding around. Yeah, it's fun. We're taking our pleasure at women's pain. And am I willing to stop using porn? Am I willing to stop going to strip clubs? Am I willing to listen? Listen to women. Am I willing to take leadership from women? In a job place, if men and women are really equal, I'm not getting the next advancement. If I have to compete with all the women,

  And then all the folks of color as well, I'm not getting into next advancement because now I just have to compete with the white guys. Am I willing even to give that up, right? Do I care about people's lives or not? Because that's what it comes down to.

  hey Chuck, who do you want to be? What kind of human being do you want to be?

References

• Derry, C. (1994). The Gender Violence Institute. https://www.genderviolenceinstitute.org

• The Duluth Model. (n.d.). FAQs About the Wheels. Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs. https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/faqs-about-the-wheels/

• Greenburg, J. (2024). Sexual Assault in the U.S. Military. Watson Institute for International and Public Affairs, Brown University. https://watson.brown.edu/costsofwar/papers/2024/sexualassault

• Pence, E., & Paymar, M. (1993). Education Groups for Men Who Batter: The Duluth Model. Springer Publishing Company.

• U.S. Department of Defense. (2024). Annual Report on Sexual Assault in the Military: Fiscal Year 2024

Veteran Addiction Treatment for PTSD and Military Sexual Trauma: Miracles Asia’s Different Approach

Founder Mark Heather shares his journey from living overseas isolated from VA resources to finding help through the Veterans of Foreign Wars, entering treatment at Miracles Asia, co-founded by Mark Heathe during COVID, and building a life in recovery he never imagined possible.

After success with their first American veteran patient, Michael O’Connor, Miracles Asia quickly ramped up the specialized treatment center which now offers a unique program designed specifically for veterans dealing with PTSD, military sexual trauma, and substance use disorders. Mark Heather, co-founder, shares how Miracles Asia came to be, the programs details, and what is missing in most rehabilitation programs.

If you’re a veteran currently struggling with addiction, remember you are not alone.

---

Mark Heather, co-founder of Miracles Asia in Phuket, Thailand, understands what veterans struggling with addiction truly need. After success with their first American veteran patient, Michael O’Connor, Miracles Asia quickly ramped up the specialized treatment center which now offers a unique program designed specifically for veterans dealing with PTSD, military sexual trauma, and substance use disorders. What sets their approach apart is a fundamental understanding that getting sober represents only the beginning of the healing journey for veterans. The real transformation happens through connection with others who understand their experience.

Miracles Asia's success stems from recognizing that the highest success rates do not come from the fanciest facilities or the most credentials on the wall. Rather, lasting recovery happens when programs understand how isolation kills recovery and create genuine community among veterans who share similar struggles.

The Numbers Tell a Story We Can't Ignore

The statistics paint a sobering picture of what veterans are facing. About 63% of veterans diagnosed with a substance use disorder also meet criteria for PTSD. When veterans experience trauma in the military, especially military sexual trauma, their brains look for ways to cope. That coping mechanism often becomes alcohol or drugs.

For MST survivors specifically, the statistics are even more stark. Female veterans who experienced MST were 9 times more likely to develop PTSD than their counterparts.

What makes this crisis worse is that only about one in three survivors chooses to report their assault. More than two-thirds of all military sexual trauma occurrences go unreported. When trauma goes unreported, it does not disappear. Instead, it festers and grows, often leading to substance use as a way to manage the unbearable weight of carrying that secret.

What Actually Works in Veteran Addiction Treatment

In our conversation with Heather and O'Connor, they revealed something powerful: the veterans who succeed are not necessarily the ones with the least severe addictions. They are the ones who are ready to be honest about their struggles and committed to change.

Miracles Asia operates as a small, family-owned center on a tropical island in Thailand. The environment itself contributes to healing.

At Miracles Asia, the core philosophy revolves around something simpler and more profound than fancy facilities or impressive credentials. It is about the veteran's own desire for change. As the founders explain in the full episode, external interventions fail without internal motivation.

The moment someone decides they are ready to speak their truth is when transformation becomes possible.Michael's Transformation due to Miracles Asia's Program.

Why Isolation Impedes Recovery

One of the most striking insights from our conversation was how isolation serves as both a symptom and a weapon that trauma uses against survivors. Heather and O'Connor explain how the military culture of silence reinforces the feeling that veterans are alone in their pain.

At Miracles Asia, the treatment approach focuses on breaking this isolation through genuine connection with others who understand. To hear more about how they create these healing spaces and why peer connection matters so much for MST survivors, listen to the full episode.

Learning to meditate, talking in group settings, and asking for help all felt uncomfortable at first. These practices required Michael to confront the military conditioning that taught him to suppress emotions and handle everything independently.

Why Location Matters More Than You Think

Miracles Asia's location on the island of Phuket in Thailand was chosen with intention. Situated in a rural area surrounded by mangroves and jungle, the facility offers a serene and secluded environment conducive to healing. While this might sound like a luxury, Heather and O'Connor explain there is clear strategy behind it.

When veterans are healing from trauma and addiction, they need physical distance from the triggers that keep pulling them back. For veterans, those triggers are everywhere in their home communities: the bar where they used to drink, the people who knew them before, and the constant reminders of military service that can activate trauma responses.

Creating physical space allows veterans to create mental space. At Miracles Asia, veterans can focus on healing without the daily assault of familiar triggers, surrounded by a peaceful retreat away from the distractions of city life.

The Holistic Approach That Actually Addresses Root Causes

Miracles Asia was built on the understanding that most addiction treatment fails veterans because it treats the substance use without addressing the trauma underneath. Programs can get someone sober, but if they do not help veterans process their PTSD, MST, or moral injury, relapse becomes likely.

Through their holistic approach that includes psycho-education, mental health support, physical fitness, spiritual exploration, and the mind-body connection in trauma recovery drastically reduces the internal conflict that drives veterans to numb or cope with drugs and alcohol. More than 80% of specialized VA programs used to treat PTSD now offer some form of mind-body therapy, and Heather explains why this matters so much for veterans healing from addiction and trauma.

To understand how all these components work together at Miracles Asia and why treating PTSD and substance use disorder at the same time is so critical, listen to the full episode where they break down their entire approach.

Why Group Healing Matters for MST Survivors

Research consistently shows that engaging in group healing, especially in addition to individual therapy, is one of the most effective ways to recover from the effects of sexual violence. Heather shared powerful insights about what happens when survivors connect with others who truly understand their experience.

When survivors share their stories with others who have similar experiences, something fundamental shifts. The shame loses its power.

This is especially critical for male MST survivors. Men with MST histories were no more likely to engage in mental health treatment despite having nearly 3-fold increased odds of reporting future suicidal intent. In the episode, Heather and O'Connor discuss how they create spaces where male patients can break through this isolation.

The Intersection of MST, PTSD, and Addiction

Veterans with lifetime PTSD were found to be 2 times more likely to meet criteria for an alcohol use disorder and 3 times more likely for a drug use disorder. When MST layers on top of that, the complexity increases substantially.

However, Heather and O'Connor shared something hopeful: research shows that alcohol misuse does not interfere with positive treatment outcomes. In other words, clinicians can successfully treat veterans for PTSD alongside addiction. The presence of substance use does not doom chances of recovery.

Listen to the full episode to hear their insights on treating the whole person, not just the addiction and how they approach this intersection at Miracles Asia and what makes their treatment model different.

ARecovery is possible. About 29% of veterans who served in Operations Iraqi Freedom or Enduring Freedom have had PTSD at some point in their lives, yet with the right treatment and support, healing is within reach.

Listen to the full episode to hear more about Miracles Asia's approach, why location matters in recovery, and how connection saves lives.

Resources for Veterans Seeking Help

Veterans struggling with addiction, PTSD, or trauma can take several steps to access help. The Veterans of Foreign Wars connected Michael with Miracles Asia, and they can connect other veterans with appropriate resources. Organizations like the VFW understand the specific challenges veterans face and can provide guidance on navigating treatment options for veteran rehab that treats MST.

Veterans can contact the VA about MST-related care without needing proof or documentation of the assault. The VA's policy on MST-related care is designed to reduce barriers to treatment. Veterans can also inquire about EMDR therapy through the VA, which offers it at no cost.

Treatment options like Miracles Asia in Phuket, Thailand provide alternatives to traditional rehabilitation facilities for PTSD and addiction treatment for combat veterans. The Foreign Medical Program may reimburse treatment costs for veterans seeking overseas addiction treatment for veterans. Some facilities, including Bangkok Hospital, bill the Foreign Medical Program directly, reducing the financial burden on veterans.

Connecting with other veterans through support groups, online forums, or veteran organizations provides community support that enhances recovery. Michael found this community essential to his ongoing sobriety and mental health.

Contact Miracles Asia

For more information about Miracles Asia's veteran addiction treatment program in Phuket, Thailand:

Website: www.miraclesasia.com

Phone: +66 (0) 76 367 788

Email: info@miraclesasia.com

Miracles Asia specializes in treating co-occurring PTSD and substance use disorders in veterans, with expertise in military sexual trauma recovery. The program accepts referrals from the VFW and works with the VA Foreign Medical Program for eligible veterans.

Episode Chapters and Timestamps

• 00:00 Previously on The Silenced Voices of MST

• 00:20 The Key to Miracles Asia's High Success Rate

• 02:37 The Role of Connection in Recovery and Mental Health

• 03:57 Michael's Journey to Miracles Asia Began The Veterans Program

• 06:50 The Miracles Asia Veterans Program Breakdown

• 13:24 Miracles Asia's Location and Origin Story

• 17:31 A Special Message for Veterans

• 21:52 Preview for next episode

Frequently Asked Questions

• What is the best addiction treatment for veterans with PTSD?

  The most effective addiction treatment for veterans with PTSD integrates trauma treatment with addiction recovery rather than treating them separately. Research shows that treating PTSD and substance use disorder at the same time works to treat both conditions. Programs like Miracles Asia specifically address the intersection of military trauma and addiction, recognizing that veterans need both issues addressed simultaneously for lasting recovery.

• How do I know if I need inpatient treatment for addiction?

  Veterans should consider inpatient treatment if they have tried outpatient options without success, if their home environment contains triggers that make sobriety difficult, or if they need a safe place away from their regular surroundings to focus on healing. Inpatient programs provide 24/7 support, structured programming, and distance from the people and places associated with substance use.

• Does VA cover addiction treatment for veterans?

  The VA does provide addiction treatment services for eligible veterans. However, many veterans also seek treatment at private facilities like Miracles Asia that specialize in veteran-specific care. These programs often offer approaches and environments different from VA facilities, including international locations that provide physical distance from home triggers and peer communities of veterans in recovery.

• Can you treat PTSD and addiction at the same time?

  Yes, and research shows this is actually the most effective approach. About 63% of veterans diagnosed with a substance use disorder also meet criteria for PTSD. Studies have demonstrated that alcohol misuse does not interfere with positive PTSD treatment outcomes, meaning veterans can successfully recover from both conditions simultaneously. Programs that address both issues together, like Miracles Asia, give veterans the best chance at lasting recovery.

• What should I look for in a veteran addiction treatment program?

  Veterans should seek programs that prioritize safety, provide trauma-informed care, offer connection with peers who understand military experience, integrate addiction and trauma treatment, respect individual healing timelines, and focus on strengths rather than solely on deficits. Look for programs that include comprehensive aftercare as a core component and that understand the unique challenges veterans face, including military sexual trauma and the culture of silence in the military.

• How long does addiction treatment take for veterans?

  Treatment length varies based on individual needs, but effective programs recognize that healing from both addiction and trauma takes time. Many programs offer 30, 60, or 90-day options, with longer stays generally associated with better outcomes. Aftercare and ongoing support following the initial treatment period are critical, as the weeks and months after leaving a program are often more challenging than the time spent in treatment.

About the Guests

Mark Heather is the co-founder of Miracles Asia, a specialized addiction treatment center located in Phuket, Thailand. With personal experience in addiction and recovery, Mark understands what veterans need to heal from substance use disorders, PTSD, and military sexual trauma. His mission is to help veterans find a path to sobriety and healing by addressing the unique challenges faced by those who have served in the military.

Michael O'Connor was the first veteran patient at Miracles Asia. His experience with the program and his journey through recovery provide valuable insight into what works for veterans struggling with addiction and trauma.

The program at Miracles Asia is designed to provide veterans with the tools, support, and community they need to rebuild their lives through a holistic approach that emphasizes connection, safety, and integrated treatment for both addiction and underlying trauma.

Help Support our Mission

This work saves lives. Every story shared, resource created, survivor connected to help. The Silenced Voices of MST exists because too many survivors have been silenced for too long. This work is necessary, but it cannot continue as a one person sacrifice. I am asking for your support to help transition this platform into a sustainable resource. If this mission matters to you, please consider making a donation or sharing this campaign with your network. Every episode produced, every toolkit distributed, every survivor story amplified requires resources. Production costs, hosting fees, website maintenance, and platform development all depend on the generosity of people who believe survivors deserve better.

Your donation directly funds:

• Administrative Support: $12,000 to hire a part-time assistant. This is the only way to shift the twenty-person workload off of one individual and ensure the show’s longevity.

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• Production & Security: $4,500 to cover the upcoming year of hosting, extra security features for guest safety, and necessary software subscriptions.

Thank you for standing with survivors.

About the Host

Rachelle Smith is an Air Force veteran, MST survivor, and the founder of The Silenced Voices of MST, an advocacy platform focused on Military Sexual Trauma. With a background in Communications and a distinguished career as a US Air Force Public Affairs Officer, Rachelle is committed to amplifying the voices of survivors and demanding accountability from institutions that have failed them.

After years of struggling in silence, Rachelle created The Silenced Voices of MST to help this long-ignored community document their truth, speak out, and fight for future service members. The platform offers the VA Disability Toolkit, the Contact Your Lawmaker Toolkit, guided trauma recovery journals, and leads The Advocates of MST, a private Facebook support group.

Through her podcast, Rachelle provides a safe space for MST survivors to share their stories, access resources, and find community. Her work centers on visibility, support, and accountability for Military Sexual Trauma survivors worldwide.

Connect with Rachelle: silencedvoicesmst.com | Email: info@silencedvoicesmst.com

• Episode Trancript

  Michael O (00:00)

  had to, be willing to humble myself and put my hand up, which is something.

  of veterans might struggle with just because of our conditioning, to raise my hand and ask for help to be vulnerable.

  Mark Heather (00:20)

  we have a huge success rate. Our is about 60%. It's normally about five or 10. Now, to be brutally frank, that's not because we're any good. It's because of the type of clients we get. You can get a client will go to some really shit rehab. I know it's no good, it's rubbish and yet they get sober.

  Rachelle Smith (00:38)

  Mm-hmm.

  Mark Heather (00:48)

  And you can get another guy that goes to this fantastic rehab that I know everybody's committed. got school program. He doesn't get sober. What's the difference? It's do they want it? Do they want it? If they want it, we've got it. If they don't want it.

  There's nothing you can do. I can't get sober for them. don't just accept anybody. in our assessment process, we've got to be careful about who we can and can't take. We can't take severe mental illness, for example. We can't. But you know, number one is are they safe? they not violent?

  We've got to make sure that they're safe in our little community. But second of all, for me is do they want it? That's what I'm trying to find out when I'm when we're asking people, they good? Do they want to if they want it? Come on down because we've got it for you.

  Rachelle Smith (01:37)

  In my personal experience with going to different treatment programs, I would say that I did want it, but I didn't believe that I would actually get to a place of healing. And there's actually a big difference, right?

  I think it's more of like, I wanted to get better, but I didn't have any hope of it. With me, I found a medication that had finally worked. Prior to that, I had been on like 30 or 40 and it seemed like they either like worked a little bit and then my brain adjusted to it and nothing happened. And that would be the thing that would cause another slump of...

  Like you feel like a little better and then all of sudden nothing, you're gonna get back to where you started. having people that have reached that kind of equilibrium of, okay, things are starting to feel a little better. I actually believe now I can do this work and make progress.

  Mark Heather (02:37)

  Right. And with time, we become our own proof, you know, after some time, but it's just crucial that we stay connected to like-minded people. problem with certainly addiction and mental health and trauma, you're not going to think your way out of it. You're not going to sit in a room and go, well, I'll think my way out of this. It's impossible. It has to be done with others.

  Rachelle Smith (02:40)

  Right.

  Mark Heather (03:02)

  that we can be part of that others, which is very powerful in itself, I think. There is something tremendously positive and a gift to be taken from in a positive way. we go out and we have this experience and we found our way out, to be able to share that with other people is very powerful. I believe it's a spiritual thing. It's this awful experience that happened to me

  Well, I can take something good from that because I found a way out and I can show other people, hey mate, this is what I did to get out. You if you want to get out of somebody, ask somebody who's got out. That's powerful. You know, it's a powerful thing to have. It's a gift in many ways. It's not a gift we want, but it is a gift. It's a gift that we've got because we have the ability to help people.

  Rachelle Smith (03:50)

  That's true.

  Mark Heather (03:57)

  It's a passion. It's the reason that we get up in the morning. My primary purpose, Michael's primary purpose is to help the next alcoholic or addict that we can. That's primary purpose. So the whole place has got that sort of vibe. We've expanded now to 25 rooms. We started at six and it grew and our name grew because, you know, we're quite passionate about what we do. How I got involved with the armed forces, with the FMP.

  And the VA was that during COVID, we were so small that we were about the only rehab open in Thailand at all. Nobody else. The VFW, which is the Veterans of Foreign Wars in Chiang Mai, it's in the north of Thailand, contacted us along with the American Embassy. And they said, we've got a serviceman who happened to be Michael, who's with us today, because there's been a load of others since. But he was the first one. They said, he's stuck, he's in COVID.

  He can tell you what he was suffering, but also PTSD. Do you have a trauma informed staff there? Can you help? And we went, yeah, sure. You know, bring him down. They connected us up with the FMP, which is the payment part of the three A's who pay us very slowly, but they do pay us. And we got on their list and we've managed to help. We normally have three or four servicemen a year, something like that coming to us from various branches. Mostly those.

  Rachelle Smith (05:10)

  Sounds about right.

  Mark Heather (05:22)

  who are living overseas. could be anywhere in Southeast Asia, we cover them. So Michael came down and he was our first client, the forces. And yeah, it went from there really. Regarding our program, yeah, we're bringing in, ⁓ I want to bring in about five veterans a month. And if they stay, we have a 30, 60, 90 day program and not everybody can take 90 days because they're working, right? So it's a lot of time to take off.

  They should be saying at least 60 days. Difficult to change people's sort of concept in 30 days. we need about 60. But if they're coming five a month, which we've given, you know, we've made five places available, that means I should have between 10 and 10 and 15 military people. What we plan to do is I don't want this to be a hurrah sort of, you know, military place. You know, I think there should be, I think there's a lot to be said.

  with, you know, my other clients are normally 30s, 40s, 50s, middle-class professionals working in Southeast Asia and the States. So I have that type of community. If I bring the military people in, I don't think they should just be service people, because they live in that world already. I think they should be part of Civvy Street. I think they should be part of a normal community. But I do think they have their own special needs.

  So I think they should have special counseling, special process groups where they come into groups and they work with their clinical side. There are certain aspects of the program that I think they need to be special just for them. But that's a 20 % of the whole. The rest of it should be our normal program. And our normal program, it's a holistic program, which means it's made up of different bits. The first part is psychoeducation. This is education.

  about, you people think they you know all this, you naturally know all this, but people with problems don't. And I'm talking about anger management. I'm talking about relationships. I'm talking about boundaries. I'm talking about values. I'm talking about CBT. I'm talking, you know, mindfulness, these things that we think, I know about that. But actually, maybe they don't know very much. And they're wondering why they're raging all the time or angry all the time or kicking off all the time, you know, these types of things.

  So that first part is a educational part, which is in a classroom delivered with homework and going over exactly what that is. The second part is relapse prevention. Anybody can stay sober in a rehab. It's not difficult. What it's all about is what you do when you go home. So the minute they come to us, they're working on what it's like when they leave those gates, when they go back out to their community.

  What's the plan Stan? So they should have a complete and utter plan day by day about are they going to continue the therapy with their therapist? Are they going to be going to support groups? Are they going to be joining AA, physical health, eating properly, sleep, all of these things. What's the plan? So the second part is relapse prevention. The third part is the bit we touched on before, mental health. People drink or use because they don't like how they feel, including PTSD. ⁓

  When you feel like shit and you feel awful and you can't do anything, what are you going to do? You're going to change how you feel. How do you change how you feel, especially in the services? Totally acceptable. Drink, drink like a fish. I grew up in the military. My dad, was a drink and now more powerful modern drugs have come on the scene. So they need to change how they feel because they feel so awful. That's why they use. So the mental health part is

  where you're sitting with a clinical psychologist and you're going through, what's making the want want? What's driving it? Addiction in itself is a compulsive obsessive disorder. But then there's something else, either depression, anxiety, trauma, PTSD, which is driving us to drink and use. So that needs...

  Number one, they need to be like detoxed and identify what that is because it's not, know, it can be such a blanket term PTSD, it covers so much, but it really needs pairing down into exactly what it is, exactly how it's presenting and exactly how it should be managed, right? So that's the third part is the mental health part. They do at least two hours a week with a clinical site. You can't do more than that. If you're doing more than that, you're doing too much.

  And if it's not too much, you're not doing it properly. Right. After that, it's group work. do quite a lot of group work because I have this amazing community. I only take people that want it. If they don't want to get sober, I don't want them. I can't be bothered. I haven't got enough time. I just want people that want it. So when I get a community of mostly men, I mean, I have about 20, 30 % women, but mostly

  Rachelle Smith (10:12)

  Right.

  Mark Heather (10:36)

  well-educated, well-motivated, team-orientated men, all of them, are very, that's a powerful group of people to work with. And it's okay when a clinician or a support worker or a doctor or me say ABC, but when your peer says something to you, you listen, you really listen. So there's the power in the group. It's not only the medical sort of thing, the mental health thing, it's a group thing as well. So,

  Rachelle Smith (10:55)

  Mm.

  Mark Heather (11:04)

  The last one is group. also have 12 steps as part of our program. 12 steps is Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous. We are not a 12 step program, but it's certainly part of what we do because when you go back to your community and especially in the States, everywhere, this is everywhere. It's free, it's loving, it's supportive, it's absolutely everywhere. So we try to guide people into that.

  They don't want it. They don't have to have it. It's also a bit of a spiritual program. So there's a spiritual aspect to it as well. And by spiritual, mean, asking yourself a lot of questions and ask answering them and no matter where they go, rather than religious, it's maybe a set of rules that you have to follow. Spirituality is not about that. It's really is this inward, deep dive. And, remember that I think addiction and depression and

  PTSD is the loss of connection to self. So it is a bit of a spiritual ⁓ emptiness, a void that we've got to look at. So anyway, that's part of the group. We do lots of different group works and as I said, it's quite powerful. The next one is physical fitness. We've got a gym, we go to this amazing gym three times a week. I it's just huge Olympic pools, weights, ⁓ cardio.

  hot and cold, it's as the whole nine yards, has everything. And we do yoga in the morning or we do beach walks in the morning. So we're not keep fit for now, but we do believe in healthy body, healthy mind, healthy spirit. These are all like healing things. And the last one is that we do a lot of is aftercare. So when the client goes home, we're there with them for a couple of months, they continue with the therapist, they continue with the sport worker. They should be coming to our Zoom meetings.

  We have the connection. We have the connection when they go home. So they're not alone. We do expect them to find their own communities when they get back, which there's loads in the States, but they've got to actually make that connection. So with us, we're with them all the time, including the two months after they go back. So that's roughly our program.

  Rachelle Smith (13:24)

  Where exactly are you located to? We should probably cover that.

  Mark Heather (13:28)

  We're located on the island of Phuket. Phuket is in the Andaman Sea. It's halfway down Thailand on the left hand side.

  Rachelle Smith (13:38)

  Beautiful. Yep. I've been to Bangkok. I was supposed to go to Phuket, but didn't make it, but I've seen pictures, isn't it? ⁓ man. Paradise, like you said.

  Mark Heather (13:49)

  We are

  actually, we're on the rural part because the island is made up of the few and I didn't know this is this is most islands. I didn't know. It depends on the wind and the tide, but one half of the island is normally mangroves and the other is beaches. We're actually on the mangrove side, which is good for us. We're only about 10 minutes from a beach, but the general area is mangroves because then there's no beaches, then there's no hotels, restaurants, people.

  We're very quiet and we're just underneath a jungle, which is a national park, which is behind us. So we're nice and quiet where we are, but we're still only 10 minutes from the beach. But we're in the rural part of the island. I was working in hotel not far from here when the tsunami hit. I lost 13 staff, 54 guests. Bill also lost a lot of guests and staff. He's a ship's captain, but was

  working with a hotel and they lost a load of guests and staff as well. So after the tsunami, we worked together. I knew him through Alcoholics Anonymous and we started doing charity work together for kids, orphans, families that have lost loved ones, our staff mainly. We did that for a couple of years. I got to know Bill quite well through Alcoholics Anonymous and through working on the charity work. In about 2015, 16, I wanted to do something about recovery, but

  It was my world, but something in hotels as well. you know, rehab seemed to be really way to go. And he said, okay, let's start it with my villa. He had a very flash private luxury villa that was only six bedrooms. And we decided that we thought we were going to help people like us because when I got sober, there were no rehabs. I got sober in 2004. He got sober like 10 years later. There were no rehabs at all in Thailand at that time. So we just did it through AA. And, know, with.

  With recovery, AA is wonderful and you know, I'm Mr. AA and NA and CA and all of the anonymous things, but there are other components that AA doesn't cover. The medical part, is detox, the mental health part, which we're going to come to in a minute. The rehab encompasses those things. Yes, it's a place to stop and then work on yourself, but there is mental health component and a medical component that AA doesn't do. So we wanted to.

  cover those parts of it. What we thought we aimed at people like ourselves, which is expatriates working in Southeast Asia. Most of our clients are expatriates working in Southeast Asia. So they're normally educated, normally just about to lose everything. The wife is normally leaving with the kids or HR is on their ass. You know, they're that type of client. We aimed it at that sort of people. And that comes out in that

  We don't do bag searches, we don't do drug tests all the time, we don't do room searches. We treat people like adults because they are adults. They're allowed phones, they're allowed communication devices. Things that aren't quite allowed in other rehabs, we could because we were going for that sort of population. We were quite successful because we're very small, very personalized, very passionate. All the staff, I employ professional people, nearly all of them.

  except for the Thai people who run the kitchen, who run the drivers, who run, you know, the rest of it, like a hotel, the people who are with the clients, with clinical psychologists, psychiatrists, support workers, all of these people, most of them are drunks or alcoholics themselves. ⁓ They are in recovery.

  Rachelle Smith (17:31)

  So if a veteran listening was interested in reaching out to you to learn more about miracles, how could they find you?

  Mark Heather (17:40)

  Just go to miraclesasia.com and there's ⁓ a page, especially for veterans.

  No, MiraclesAsia.com. You'll get right there. There's a little dog tag and it says veterans press here. So there you go.

  Rachelle Smith (17:59)

  And do you all have any social media accounts as well?

  Mark Heather (18:02)

  Yes, we do. Yes. ⁓ We're on Facebook and Instagram.

  Rachelle Smith (18:07)

  Okay, perfect. I'll get that into the show notes. And is there any last tidbit either of y'all wanna share with our listeners or viewers?

  Michael O'Connor (18:18)

  Yeah, that there's help.

  Mark Heather (18:20)

  I think

  you don't have to be alone. Just don't. you know, there's a saying in Asia, know, when the student's ready, the teacher will appear. And it is so true. If you put your hand up, all you've got to do is put your hand up and help comes. It really does. Well, and thank you for the wonderful work you do. It's really quite impressive what you're doing.

  Rachelle Smith (18:22)

  Yeah.

  ⁓ yeah.

  Mark Heather (18:49)

  Thank you.

  Rachelle Smith (18:51)

  It's been humbling. I can tell you that. When I did get to that point of recovering enough to actually use the things that I had learned, ⁓ I was just thinking, man, I want other people to be able to get to this space, because my depression was so bad that it really felt like ⁓ I couldn't see colors at times.

  It was like being a robot zombie, I guess, if I could call it something. But to be able to share the stories of more folks that have gotten out of that mode and let survivors know that they're not alone. then there's probably millions of people out there willing to help them and then pull them out of that. That isolation piece, that ⁓ hopelessness. ⁓

  We lose people every day because of it. I mean, I was almost one of them multiple times. So this, this is my way of, of sharing that hope and the love that I have now. didn't feel like I had any love in my life before that. I see that in both of you and it's, it's just so important to spread that and get as many people. The help they need as possible and, and, you know, change the world just a little bit every day.

  And you can do that through healing, you know.

  Mark Heather (20:20)

  Best.

  Michael O'Connor (20:23)

  You're going through a big shift right now too, Rachelle aren't you? Like you're shifting out of that VA space you're in and you're like taking a big step doing this podcast. And I believe in you. I'm really grateful that you have the courage to follow your passion and your journey. Yeah.

  Mark Heather (20:40)

  Thank you,

  Rachelle Smith (20:42)

  yeah, every day is an adventure, but it's every day is a learning experience. And the one thing I did learn in therapy that I have to repeat to myself daily is like, I can't control, you know, other things, but I can control how I react to it. And, ⁓ who has gotten me through quite a few things. There's always something, but it's just.

  taking that second to breathe and recalibrate and maybe even reach out to somebody else and say, Hey, I just need a different perspective. But being able to do that, even it sounds simple, but it's not.

  Mark Heather (21:24)

  Yes, that's the difference.

  Rachelle Smith (21:26)

  That's not, but thank you for providing this to veterans. Thank you, Michael, for sharing your experience as well. And again, so proud of you, so happy for you. And I think so many people are going to benefit from this episode and eternally grateful to you both.

  Mark Heather (21:46)

  Thank you very much.

  Michael O'Connor (21:47)

  gonna get a of you.

  Rachelle Smith (21:49)

  Hey!

Veteran Addiction Treatment for PTSD and Military Sexual Trauma: What Helped One Combat Veteran Recover

Combat veteran Michael O’Connor shares his journey from living overseas isolated from VA resources to finding help through the Veterans of Foreign Wars, entering treatment at Miracles Asia, co-founded by Mark Heathe during COVID, and building a life in recovery he never imagined possible.

Michael O’Connor, an 82nd Airborne Infantry veteran, shares his personal transformation after transitioning to civilian life. Having struggled with trauma, moral injury, and a deep sense of loss following his military service, he turned to addiction as a coping mechanism. Michael, who is also a Military Sexual Trauma survivor and a veteran outreach advocate for Miracles Asia in Thailand, now stresses the critical role of community in a veteran’s sobriety and recovery. Peer support reawakened his sense of purpose and duty, resulting in a drive to help more veterans find the same.

If you’re a veteran currently struggling with addiction, remember you are not alone. Join Michael in finding brotherhood and hope in recovery.

---

Mark and Michael appeared on The Silenced Voices of MST to discuss how Miracles Asia provides holistic recovery for veterans struggling with addiction, PTSD, and trauma, including military sexual trauma. Michael shares his journey from living overseas isolated from VA resources to finding help through the Veterans of Foreign Wars, entering treatment at Miracles Asia during COVID, and building a life in recovery he never imagined possible. He now works with Miracles Asia to help other veterans access the same care that saved his life.

Potential Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion of addiction, suicidal ideation, sexual trauma, substance use disorders, and PTSD.

Introduction to Miracles Asia and Personal Journeys

Michael lived in Southeast Asia for many years, disconnected from the VA and any recovery communities. He was off grid, overseas for a long time without the support systems that might have helped him recognize he needed treatment. The pain finally became too great. He reached a tipping point where he had to raise his hand and ask for help.

Asking for help required surrender, which Michael acknowledges is particularly difficult for veterans. He references the Ranger Creed, which states that surrender is not a Ranger word. Yet through surrender, he achieved victory. He realized that his greatest weakness became his greatest strength. That tipping point required not only asking for help but also becoming willing to let go and trust people he did not know.

Michael points out that resources for veterans now feel like an ocean. Veterans new to seeking help face the challenge of navigating where to go when there are so many places and options. He did not understand at the time that he had services available to him.

To keep the mic on, I have often prioritized the show over my own basic needs like groceries and gas. I am incredibly grateful for the small donations from guests that have come in over the months, but I am firm in my belief that this show should be a resource for survivors, not a financial burden on them. This work is for the community, and it is important to me that I do not rely on the people I am meant to be helping.

Why Seeking Help is Difficult for Veterans

Michael explains how veterans living overseas can access treatment through the VA Foreign Medical Program (FMP). When he needs care, he can go to an accredited facility and generally pays out of pocket first, then the FMP reimburses him. Because there is a massive community of veterans overseas, many institutions now cater to the veteran community.

Bangkok Hospital, for example, treats veterans and then bills the FMP directly. This removes the burden of paying out of pocket, which helps veterans who are living on disability benefits or social security. The VFW in Chiang Mai reached out to Mark when Michael needed help. At that time, Michael was willing to do whatever it took. Mark took him in during COVID, even though he was not sure about how it would work. Mark knew Michael needed help and was willing to provide it.

Michael's Transformation due to Miracles Asia's Program

Miracles Asia operates as a small, family-owned center on a tropical island in Thailand. The environment itself contributes to healing.

Michael addresses how substance use and alcoholism are prevalent in the sexual trauma space. Substance use disorders co-occur with PTSD. The VA and the government acknowledge this connection, which allows veterans to get care through the FMP.

When Michael entered treatment at Miracles Asia and removed alcohol and drugs from his life, he was able to work through meditation, EMDR, CBT, eating right, sleeping right, and being in a community of loving and kind people. This holistic wellness allowed him to openly discuss other things as well, including his sexual trauma.

What Sets Miracles Asia Apart From Other Rehabs

Michael credits Miracles Asia with giving him a life beyond his imagination. He contrasts the program with traditional rehabilitation facilities he experienced before, which felt sterile, isolating, and transactional. Those programs followed a set timeline where patients completed treatment and then returned home to manage recovery alone.

Miracles Asia operates as a small, family-owned center on a tropical island in Thailand. The environment itself contributes to healing. The program incorporates yoga, walks on the beach, fresh food, excursions, and community building as essential elements of recovery. Mark and Michael say the setting matters because trauma and addiction affect the whole person, and healing requires more than addressing symptoms in clinical settings.

The holistic approach includes meditation, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, healthy eating, physical activity, and genuine connection with others in recovery. Michael appreciates the passion Mark and his team bring to working with veterans and civilians. The small scale allows for individualized attention and flexibility in treatment approaches.

Learning to meditate, talking in group settings, and asking for help all felt uncomfortable at first. These practices required Michael to confront the military conditioning that taught him to suppress emotions and handle everything independently.

Expanding Their Program to More Veterans

Michael now works with Miracles Asia to market their services to the veteran community and participates in ongoing Zoom meetings that foster continued support after treatment. This ongoing connection prevents the isolation that often leads to relapse. Mark and Michael are expanding the program to accommodate more veterans through a specific veteran cohort, with their first group arriving soon.

Michael shares that Miracles Asia's doctor identified one of his medications was causing suicidal ideation and discontinued it. He is now abstinent from pharmaceuticals and reports feeling better than he has in years. This medical oversight represents another way Miracles Asia differs from programs that might not thoroughly evaluate how medications interact with trauma recovery.

Michael Shares His Experience with EMDR Treatment

Mark and Michael explain EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) as a therapeutic method that helps individuals process trauma without requiring detailed verbal descriptions of traumatic events. EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, typically through guided eye movements, to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories and reduce their emotional impact.

Research supports EMDR as an effective treatment for PTSD. A 2019 study found EMDR was clinically effective and the most cost-effective of 11 trauma therapies evaluated for adults with PTSD (Simpson et al., 2025). A 1998 study by Carlson et al found that military veterans who received EMDR experienced a 77% remission in their PTSD diagnosis within 12 sessions (Carlson et al., 1998).

EMDR does not require detailed descriptions of traumatic events, prolonged exposure to memories, or homework between sessions. Both weekly treatment and intensive daily treatment groups produced statistically significant results that were maintained at 1-year follow-up. The 10-day EMDR intensive daily treatment produced similar outcomes to weekly treatment.

Michael describes his EMDR sessions at Miracles Asia with honesty about the initial difficulty. He experienced anger and emotional intensity during the process. Despite the discomfort, he found EMDR valuable for processing trauma that had affected him for years. He points out that EMDR is non-invasive and drug-free.

The VA offers EMDR for free to MST survivors. Veterans do not need to have reported the incident when it happened, and they do not need documentation to access care. Eligibility for VA MST-related care is expansive. The VA offers evidence-based therapies like Cognitive Processing Therapy and EMDR to address trauma symptoms effectively, regardless of service-connected disability status.

The New Coping Tools for a Healthy Life

Michael discusses the importance of daily routines and rituals in maintaining recovery. He acknowledges the initial awkwardness and vulnerability involved in learning new coping mechanisms. Learning to meditate, talking in group settings, and asking for help all felt uncomfortable at first. These practices required Michael to confront the military conditioning that taught him to suppress emotions and handle everything independently.

The tools Michael learned at Miracles Asia help him navigate daily struggles without resorting to substance use. He says recovery does not mean achieving a perfect life without challenges. Recovery means having the tools to cope with life's difficulties in healthy ways. When stress, triggers, or painful emotions arise, Michael now has alternatives to alcohol and drugs.

The stakes for developing these tools are high. About 30% of Army suicides and over 45% of suicide attempts since 2003 involved alcohol or drug use (NIDA, 2025). An average of 20 veterans die by suicide every day (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 2016). If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the Veterans Crisis Line at 988 and press 1. Recovery tools and daily practices can save lives by providing veterans with ways to manage PTSD symptoms, process trauma, and maintain sobriety during difficult periods.

The Prevalence of Sexual Trauma in Veteran Recovery Stories

Michael O’Connor and Mark Heather appear on The Silenced Voices of MST to discuss how Miracles Asia provides holistic recovery for veterans struggling with addiction, PTSD, and trauma, including military sexual trauma.

Michael notes the prevalence of sexual trauma among people in recovery spaces. He commits to openly discussing and advocating for this issue within the veteran community. He wants to break the stigma surrounding sexual trauma in ways similar to how stigma around addiction has decreased over recent decades. By speaking openly about his own experience with sexual trauma, Michael hopes to make it easier for other veterans to seek help.

An estimated 1 in 3 female veterans and 1 in 50 male veterans in the Department of Veterans Affairs health care system report experiencing sexual assault or harassment in the military (VA National Center for PTSD, 2024). While women face higher rates of sexual trauma by percentage, nearly 40% of veterans who disclose Military Sexual Trauma to the VA are men (DAV, 2024). Sexual trauma affects veterans across all demographics.

Female veterans are more likely to experience mental illness and sexual trauma, and face increased risk of developing substance use disorders when they have PTSD or specific medical conditions. They are also at greater risk for suicide compared to female civilians and male veterans.

Approximately 14% of men and 24% of women veterans are diagnosed with PTSD (VA, 2024). About 29% of living U.S. veterans who served in Iraq or Afghanistan have had PTSD at some point in their lives (NIDA, 2025). These statistics represent individuals living with real pain who need access to comprehensive treatment that addresses both trauma and any co-occurring substance use disorders.

A Special Message for Veterans Who Might Be Struggling

Mark says veterans do not have to face recovery alone. Veterans frequently isolate themselves due to shame, stigma, or the belief that others cannot understand their experiences. This isolation increases the risk of relapse and suicide.

Michael encourages veterans to ask for help, share openly about their struggles, and connect with others in recovery. He talks about the importance of faith and connection in his own recovery journey. The community at Miracles Asia and the ongoing support through Zoom meetings provide Michael with people who understand addiction and trauma recovery.

Research confirms the importance of community-centered treatment. Veterans with PTSD and alcohol use disorder had significantly elevated rates of major depression (36.8% versus 2.3%), generalized anxiety disorder (43.5% versus 4.1%), suicidal ideation (39.1% versus 7.0%), and suicide attempts (46.0% versus 4.1%) compared to veterans with alcohol use disorder only (Norman et al., 2019). The combination of PTSD and substance use disorder creates compounding mental health risks that require integrated treatment.

Holistic treatment for veterans addresses diverse and complex needs by integrating alternative therapies and lifestyle changes that heal the whole person. Miracles Asia incorporates this community-centered approach in their programming.

Resources for Veterans Seeking Help

Veterans struggling with addiction, PTSD, or trauma can take several steps to access help. The Veterans of Foreign Wars connected Michael with Miracles Asia, and they can connect other veterans with appropriate resources. Organizations like the VFW understand the specific challenges veterans face and can provide guidance on navigating treatment options for veteran rehab that treats MST.

Veterans can contact the VA about MST-related care without needing proof or documentation of the assault. The VA's policy on MST-related care is designed to reduce barriers to treatment. Veterans can also inquire about EMDR therapy through the VA, which offers it at no cost.

Treatment options like Miracles Asia in Phuket, Thailand provide alternatives to traditional rehabilitation facilities for PTSD and addiction treatment for combat veterans. The Foreign Medical Program may reimburse treatment costs for veterans seeking overseas addiction treatment for veterans. Some facilities, including Bangkok Hospital, bill the Foreign Medical Program directly, reducing the financial burden on veterans.

Connecting with other veterans through support groups, online forums, or veteran organizations provides community support that enhances recovery. Michael found this community essential to his ongoing sobriety and mental health.

Contact Miracles Asia

For more information about Miracles Asia's veteran addiction treatment program in Phuket, Thailand:

Website: www.miraclesasia.com

Phone: +66 (0) 76 367 788

Email: info@miraclesasia.com

Miracles Asia specializes in treating co-occurring PTSD and substance use disorders in veterans, with expertise in military sexual trauma recovery. The program accepts referrals from the VFW and works with the VA Foreign Medical Program for eligible veterans.

Episode Chapters and Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Miracles Asia and Personal Journeys

Triggering content 00:09 - 00:45 that includes discussion of PTSD, alcohol and drug addiction, and sexual trauma

01:58 Why Seeking Help is Difficult for Veterans

Triggering content 02:35 - 03:15 that includes discussion of suicidal ideation and surrender

04:50 Michael's Transformation due to Miracles Asia's Program

07:08 What Sets Miracles Asia Apart From Other Rehabs

09:29 Expanding Their Program to More Veterans

Triggering content 11:00 - 11:46 that includes discussion of suicidal ideation as a side effect of medication

12:17 Michael Shares His Experience with EMDR Treatment

14:33 The New Coping Tools for a Healthy Life

16:35 The Prevalence of Sexual Trauma in Veteran Recovery Stories

Triggering content 16:35 - 18:17 that includes discussion of sexual trauma prevalence in recovery spaces

19:26 A Special Message for Veterans Who Might Be Struggling

References

Carlson, J. G., Chemtob, C. M., Rusnak, K., Hedlund, N. L., & Muraoka, M. Y. (1998). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EDMR) treatment for combat-related posttraumatic stress disorder. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 11(1), 3-24.

Disabled American Veterans (DAV). (2024). What is MST? Military Sexual Trauma. Retrieved from https://www.dav.org/get-help-now/veteran-topics-resources/military-sexual-trauma-mst/

National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA). (2025, January 30). Substance Use and Military Life DrugFacts. Retrieved from https://nida.nih.gov/publications/drugfacts/substance-use-military-life

Norman, S. B., Hamblen, J. L., Schnurr, P. P., Eftekhari, A., Stein, M. B., Rosen, C., ... & Karlin, B. E. (2019). Co-Occurring Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Alcohol Use Disorder in U.S. Military and Veteran Populations. Alcohol Research: Current Reviews, 40(2).

Norman, S. B., Haller, M., Hamblen, J. L., Southwick, S. M., & Pietrzak, R. H. (2017). Substance use disorders in military veterans: prevalence and treatment challenges. Substance Abuse and Rehabilitation, 8, 69-77.

Simpson, A., Dutton, M., Dimambro, M., Gebhardt, H., Fraade, A., Winer, M., Enciso, M., & Shiner, B. (2025). Clinical and cost-effectiveness of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing for treatment and prevention of post-traumatic stress disorder in adults: A systematic review and meta-analysis. British Journal of Psychology.

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. (2016). Veteran suicide data report. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/suicide_prevention/data.asp

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, National Center for PTSD. (2024). Military Sexual Trauma. Retrieved from https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/types/sexual_trauma_military.asp

Veterans Addiction. (2025, June 17). Statistics on Veterans and Substance Abuse. Retrieved from https://veteranaddiction.org/resources/veteran-statistics/

Greater Than Myself | Veteran Mental Health: Addressing Trauma, Moral Injury, and Community in Recovery

Michael O’Connor, an 82nd Airborne Infantry veteran, shares his personal transformation after transitioning to civilian life. Having struggled with trauma, moral injury, and a deep sense of loss following his military service, he turned to addiction as a coping mechanism. Michael, who is also a Military Sexual Trauma survivor and a veteran outreach advocate for Miracles Asia in Thailand, now stresses the critical role of community in a veteran’s sobriety and recovery. Peer support reawakened his sense of purpose and duty, resulting in a drive to help more veterans find the same.

If you’re a veteran currently struggling with addiction, remember you are not alone. Join Michael in finding brotherhood and hope in recovery.

---

I joined the Army to be a part of the noblest cause— a sense of duty, honor, country. I sought purpose, structure, and the challenge of being a warrior. Serving in the 82nd Airborne Division fulfilled that calling. As an Airborne Infantryman, I discovered the kind of brotherhood forged only through sweat, sacrifice, and shared hardship. The trust we placed in each other during airborne operations and deployments to foreign countries wasn’t just about tactics. We forged unbreakable bonds.

“No man is an island unto himself; we are waves of the same sea, leaves of the same tree, breath of the same spirit.”

— Marcus Aurelius

In the airborne community, it was more than wearing the same uniform; we shared the same spirit of adventure in service to our country. We trained and fought under the most challenging conditions. We endured, not just for ourselves, but for each other. That spirit made even the hardest days feel meaningful.

In the 82nd, our actions were geared toward the mission, the unit, and the man to our left and right.

This work is necessary, but it cannot continue as a one person sacrifice. I am asking for your support to help transition this platform into a sustainable resource. If this mission matters to you, please consider making a donation or sharing this campaign with your network.

Military Transition: Moral Injury and Veteran Addiction

82nd Airborne veteran Michael O'Connor shares his powerful story of Military Transition, Moral Injury, and Veteran Addiction.

But the mission doesn’t last forever. Transitioning to civilian life was disorienting. The structure vanished. The sense of purpose blurred. The brotherhood faded into the rearview. I was left with echoes—memories of camaraderie and adrenaline, but no roadmap for peace. I struggled to find where I belonged. The war may have ended, but the battle within had just begun.  Trauma and moral injury haunted me.

Promising relief, addiction took root in that void. Instead, it delivered destruction in a way no battlefield ever could. Yet even in my darkest moments, something inside me remembered who I was: a warrior. Not one without wounds, but one who could still stand.

Veteran Community: Sobriety and Accountability

Surrender is not a Ranger word, but I found that in my new mission of sobriety, I achieve victory through surrender, a day at a time. In the rooms and online communities of recovery, I saw something familiar: shared stories, mutual accountability, and deep bonds formed in the trenches of struggle. Helping others rise from the depths of addiction reawakened my sense of duty. Serving those with trauma and substance use disorders, especially veterans, became a sacred calling.

Seneca wrote, “Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” And I’ve learned that through kindness, service, and empathy, we rebuild the very brotherhood we thought we had lost. The esprit de corps that once lived in barracks and battlefields now lives in communities I serve, one veteran helping another.

You’re not alone, and you can explore more survivor stories and resources on our blog.

Veteran Outreach: Trauma and Substance Use Disorder Support

“I recover out loud so that others don’t have to suffer in silence. ”

— Michael O'Connor

Today, I serve my community and country in a different uniform - not one stitched from camouflage, but from courage and compassion. My weapon is no longer a rifle but a message of hope. The mission hasn’t ended; it’s evolved. And I stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a new platoon of men and women walking the path of recovery, fighting for their lives, and rediscovering their worth.

As Marcus Aurelius said, “Let your one delight and refreshment be to pass from one act of service to the community to another, with God ever in mind.” 

I have found purpose again. And for that purpose, I have found peace.

Frequently Asked Questions

• 1. What is the connection between transitioning out of the military and addiction in veterans?

  The transition to civilian life removes protective influences of military structure, which can make substance use and other mental health issues a greater concern [1]. The period of readjustment and reintegration presents unique mental health challenges [1]. Environmental stressors specific to military personnel, including deployment, combat exposure, and post-deployment reintegration challenges, are directly linked to an increased risk of Substance Use Disorders (SUDs) [1]. Veterans with SUDs are also 3 to 4 times more likely to receive a PTSD or depression diagnosis, indicating a strong co-occurring mental health component [1].

• 2. What resources are available for veterans struggling with Substance Use Disorder?

  The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) provides comprehensive services for substance use problems, including [2]:

  • Crisis Support: The Veterans Crisis Line (Call 988 and select 1, Text 838255, or confidential chat) is available 24/7.

  • Medical Treatment: Medically managed detoxification, drug substitution therapies (like methadone and buprenorphine for opiate addiction), and nicotine replacement options.

  • Counseling and Therapy: Short-term outpatient counseling, intensive outpatient treatment, residential (live-in) care, and continuing care/relapse prevention.

  • Specialized Programs: Support is available for co-occurring conditions like PTSD and depression. Combat Veterans can also receive free, private counseling at over 300 community Vet Centers [2].

  International Outreach: The post mentions that Michael O'Connor serves as a veteran outreach advocate for Miracles Asia in Thailand, a facility that offers trauma-informed recovery programs and services, including [5]:

  • Individualized Care: Programs are limited to a maximum of 15 guests for focused attention.

  • Therapy Structure: Guests receive two 1-hour individual therapy sessions with a therapist each week.

  • Experienced Team: Most of the team members are in long-term, active recovery.

  • Aftercare: Guests receive 60 days of one-on-one support from the Clinical Team via an Aftercare program.

• 3. How can finding a community help veterans with long-term sobriety and support?

  Regaining a sense of camaraderie and support is one of the biggest hurdles during transition. Finding a community helps veterans by [3]:

  • Providing Support: Sharing experiences with others eases negative emotions and can aid in recovery from trauma.

  • Creating Connection: Getting involved in local community activities, like sports, volunteering, or mentorships, helps combat social withdrawal and isolation.

  • Serving Others: Veterans are encouraged to find a way to serve others and share their important stories and skills, which benefits peers and co-workers and can foster a new sense of mission [3].

• 4. How can I find a sense of structure after leaving the military?

  Finding a new purpose is key to overcoming the disorienting feeling of a lost mission and routine [3]. You can find a new sense of structure by [3]:

  • Recognizing the Issue: Awareness is the first step toward overcoming barriers.

  • Rekindling Your Passion: Build new habits based on enjoyable activities or commit to mastering a new skill, which can be a huge source of fulfillment and instill a sense of purpose into your daily routine.

  • Finding a New Mission: Veterans who successfully transition often find a new mission in saving lives, such as by becoming psychiatric nurses, or otherwise serving the community [3].

• 5. How can I address moral injury and trauma after military service?

  Moral injury is the psychological aftermath of events that contradict deeply held moral beliefs, often resulting in feelings of intense guilt, shame, disgust, or anger [4]. Specific treatments are available to address these core concerns [4]:

  • Trauma-Focused Therapies: Treatments for PTSD, such as Prolonged Exposure (PE) and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), have been shown to be effective for patients with moral injury by helping process guilt, shame, and beliefs about betrayal [4].

  • Specialized Treatments: Other treatments specifically targeting moral injury include Adaptive Disclosure, Trauma Informed Guilt Reduction Therapy (TrIGR), and Building Spiritual Strength [4].

Sources Used —

1. National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA): Substance Use and Military Life

2. VA.gov: Substance Use Treatment For Veterans

3. Make The Connection: Finding New Purpose After the Military

4. VA.gov: Moral Injury - PTSD: National Center for PTSD

5. Miracles Asia: Rehab Questions

False Allegations of Sexual Assault, the Myth Protecting Military Sexual Trauma Predators

How the military protects its image by making serbvice members believe the biggest threat is being falsely accused. The actual data shows they should worry about survivors suffering in silence.

Department of Defense data shows false allegations of sexual assault in the military are rare, while retaliation against survivors is widespread.Department of Defense data shows false allegations of sexual assault in the military are rare, while retaliation against survivors is widespread. A recent article from Military Trial Defenders claims that false allegations of sexual assault are a "huge problem" in the military, citing that over seventy percent of military academy attendees believe this to be true.

But how common are false allegations of sexual assault? Sexual assault statistics show the actual rate is between two and ten percent.

This statistics problem is a deliberate piece of disinformation that creates a perception that protects predators while destroying survivors.

I know because I lived through both the assault and the system that followed.

False Allegations Military Sexual Assault: Who Benefits From This Lie

When people believe false allegations of sexual assault are rampant instead of rare, predators win.

The perception builds on existing misogyny that women exaggerate for attention. So few sexual assault cases make it to trial because of this notion.

Predators understand the possibility for consequences is low. They commit crimes repeatedly and escalate severity because the system protects them.

Meanwhile, DoD data shows false complaints haven't exceeded three percent since 2014. In 2024, just one percent of reports were false.

Department of Defense data shows false allegations of sexual assault in the military are rare, while retaliation against victims is widespread.

UCMJ False Allegations: The Real Fear Survivors Face

The fear of reporting a sexual assault has more to do with only the assault itself.

Victims know their careers will likely be ruined for coming forward. They know they'll be retaliated against and called liars. Worst of all, they'll be completely ostracized by peers for not staying silent.

Survivors on my The Silenced Voices of MST describe experiencing compound trauma worse than the original assault.

When someone reports, they're ostracized while perpetrators are believed and comforted. Investigations focus on poking holes in victim statements. Living quarters get trashed, cars vandalized, work tools disappear.

The data confirms this reality: military personnel are twelve times more likely to experience retaliation than see their attacker convicted.

Burden of Proof in Sexual Assault Cases: The Conditioning Machine

Military academy attendees have been conditioned to see themselves as potential victims of false accusations rather than part of a system destroying real survivors.

The military protects its image by making service members believe the biggest threat is being falsely accused. The actual data shows they should worry about survivors suffering in silence.

This narrative serves institutional interests. It's easier to fear false allegations of sexual assault than confront sexual predators operating freely while survivors get psychologically tortured for speaking up. The burden of proof in sexual assault cases becomes weaponized against survivors rather than seeking truth.

Research shows 31 percent of men and 28 percent of women experienced retaliation after assault, whether they reported or not.

Evolutionary Accountability

Accountability ends military sexual violence.

We need to create an environment completely inhospitable to sexual violence and harassment. That means removing bystanders who witnessed harassment but did nothing. Removing supervisors, leaders, and commanders who allowed for an environment conducive to sexual violence.

When careers are destroyed and people realize they can't support their families because they protected predators, they won't tolerate it.

Accountability is a form of enforced adaptation. In basic training, when one person made a mistake, the whole unit paid the price through extra runs or pushups. That collective consequence changed behavior quickly because nobody wanted to carry the burden for someone else’s actions.

The same principle applies here. When offices are emptied and careers end for protecting predators, the perception shifts. People adapt their behavior when silence and complicity carry real consequences.

Department of Defense data shows false allegations of sexual assault in the military are rare, while retaliation against victims is widespread.

Many people never personally witness sexual violence, which makes it easy for myths to spread. But consistent, visible consequences create a new reality where protecting predators is no longer tolerated.

The Path Forward

After nine years of struggling with treatment-resistant depression from MST, I experienced a miracle. A civilian provider fought for me to get new medication that reduced every symptom in three days.

Coming back to life after nearly a decade made me realize I had to help other survivors reach that same place.

I started The Silenced Voices of MST podcast to let survivors know they're not alone and they are believed. Our voices lead to public recognition of Military Sexual Trauma's pervasiveness. We'll be returning with firsthand accounts of Military Sexual Trauma in just a few short weeks.

Public demand for accountability creates environmental change. Changed environments mean service members take those values home and create outward change.

The U.S. military has led American social change before. It integrated early. It paid women equally before most organizations.

Sexual violence can be the next thing we conquer together.

But only if we stop protecting the myth and start protecting survivors.

What will it take for your military community to prioritize survivor safety over institutional reputation? Share this article if you believe accountability saves lives.

Military Sexual Trauma and Sexual Harassment: Julie | The Silenced Voices of MST with Rachelle Smith

Julie, a former U.S. Air Force officer, shares her story of Military Sexual Trauma, the harassment she endured, and the gaslighting that followed when she tried to report.

Julie, former Air Force officer, speaks about Military Sexual Trauma, sexual harassment, and the failures of the reporting process on The Silenced Voices of MST with Rachelle Smith.

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Intro

In this episode of The Silenced Voices of MST, former Air Force officer Julie shares her experience of persistent sexual harassment during her military career and the challenges of speaking out against it. She recounts how inappropriate advances from older men became a pattern both in uniform and afterward as a civilian. One particular incident, occurring during pre-deployment training on the way to Afghanistan, escalated from unwanted touching at dinner to repeated harassment at multiple bars. Despite her initial reluctance to report, Julie recognized that her harasser was about to assume a leadership position overseeing hundreds of Airmen. She made the difficult decision to file a complaint to protect those under his authority.

Episode Summary

Her report set off a painful and disorienting process. Instead of support, she was assigned a Guard Jag who repeatedly pressured her to change her story. Even with witnesses corroborating her account and evidence of prior complaints against the perpetrator, Julie was treated as if she were lying. The investigation dragged on, and she endured months of gaslighting from officials who minimized her experience and questioned her integrity. She describes the psychological toll of this process, compounded by the stress of deployment to Afghanistan, where she faced a toxic command environment and constant anxiety.

Julie’s account highlights the structural failures that allow harassment and abuse to persist unchecked. She shares how her trust was eroded by leaders who ignored red flags and excused predatory behavior as long as the offender was “good at his job.” Despite this betrayal, she also points out the commanders and peers who did support her, and the Victim Advocate who ultimately helped shift her case toward accountability.

Her story extends beyond the incident itself into the lasting effects of trauma. She discusses how the experience left her with hypervigilance, difficulty trusting men, and ongoing struggles with dating. Therapy at the Stephen A. Cohen Military Family Clinic provided tools for managing anxiety, and writing became a vital outlet that led to publishing two books. She also describes how music, particularly Taylor Swift’s, gave her strength to keep fighting during the lowest points of her case.

Julie reflects on systemic change, noting her support for President Biden’s executive order that removed commanders from deciding sexual harassment cases. She acknowledges her frustration with false reporting, which undermines survivors’ credibility, but emphasizes the importance of stronger protections and unbiased processes. Her voice underscores how policy reform must be paired with cultural change if survivors are to find safety and justice.

Julie’s story is ultimately one of resilience. She turned her experience into advocacy, sharing her lessons with others considering military service and urging them to carefully weigh the personal costs. Her journey reminds listeners that even when silenced, survivors can carve out paths of truth, healing, and empowerment.

“I was made to feel like proving my integrity mattered more than proving he did something wrong.”
- Julie

Julie, a former Air Force officer, shares her experience of Military Sexual Trauma and sexual harassment, the gaslighting she endured when reporting, and how therapy and writing supported her recovery. Listen now.

Julie’s experience exposes the deep cracks in the military justice system, where investigations often focus more on discrediting survivors than holding perpetrators accountable. Her account makes clear how cultural rot and leadership failures sustain an environment where harassment thrives. Yet her decision to step forward was not only about her own dignity, it was about preventing future Airmen from being placed in the hands of a known predator. That choice embodies both courage and sacrifice.

Her story is also a reminder of the long shadow trauma casts. Even years after separation, the impact lingers in dating, trust, and daily interactions. But Julie’s resilience shines through her advocacy, her writing, and her willingness to keep speaking truth to power. For survivors listening, her message is both validation and hope. Even in the face of disbelief and institutional betrayal, healing is possible and change is worth fighting for.

Episode Trigger Warnings and Timestamps

• 08:00–09:12: Sexual harassment at a bar, unwanted touching, physical grabbing

• 09:13–12:40: Escalation of harassment, footsie, unwanted contact, inappropriate touching in public

• 12:41–13:50: Following behavior, waiting outside bathroom, intimidation

• 13:51–15:15: Reporting process, fear of reprisal, decision to come forward

• 15:16–19:29: Gaslighting by lawyer and investigators, repeated questioning, emotional distress

• 19:30–21:00: Anxiety, PTSD diagnosis, impact on daily life

• 29:42–30:37: Difficulty trusting men, ongoing effects on dating and relationships

Resources from this Episodes

If you’re currently working through the VA Disability claims process, download our free toolkit that helps you get the rating you deserve: Get access now

1. Julie's Books: The Myth of Adulting: Everyone's Just Winging It: https://a.co/d/3xVOEHw

2. Letters from Future Me: https://a.co/d/8UBQWFM

3. The Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic - https://www.endeavors.org/cohen-clinic-san-antonio/

4. Anxiety Guys - https://anxietyguys.com/

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Listen to the Full Coversation

Leave a Review

If this episode was meaningful to you, please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Reviews help more people discover stories of Military Sexual Trauma and join the movement for change.

Next Episode

Our host, Rachelle Smith, speaks with Taylor, an Air Force dependent that shares the shock of trying to call Security Forces to report her assault, only to have her assailant answer the phone.

Support and Community

• Veterans Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press

• DoD Safe Helpline: https://www.sapr.mil/dod-safe-helpline

• Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadvocatesofmst

• VA Disability Toolkit: https://www.silencedvoicesmst.com/disability-toolkit

• Contact Your Lawmaker Toolkit: https://www.silencedvoicesmst.com/contact-your-lawmaker-toolkit

About the Guest

Julie, a former Air Force officer, shares her experience of Military Sexual Trauma and sexual harassment, the gaslighting she endured when reporting, and how therapy and writing supported her recovery.

Internal Links

• Episodes index

• About page

A Special Update on The Silenced Voices of MST

Madvocates (that’s our new name, y’all!), as many of you know, I've been on a path of deep reflection and soul-searching recently. This journey has led me to reconsider how our podcast and YouTube channel can best serve you, our dedicated listeners and viewers. Over the past few months, I've reached out to many of you to ask what you truly want from this platform. Your feedback has been invaluable, and it’s clear that we’re ready for some changes.

More Value, More Support

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You’ve asked for more actionable resources, and I hear you. The episodes that have resonated the most with our community are those that offer tangible benefits—like discussions on float spas for PTSD relief or Pablo's story about using plant medicine for healing. Moving forward, we promise to focus on providing the resources that will genuinely improve your lives. Expect more episodes filled with coping strategies, alternative healing methods, and expert advice designed to empower you every step of the way.

Why the Big Voice is Taking a Break

The "Big Voice"—the news segment we've used to address military sexual trauma—will be taking a backseat for now. This decision wasn't made lightly. I realized that most of us who tune into the podcast or watch our YouTube channel are already well aware of the prevalence and severity of MST. It’s a reality we live with daily; it's not new to us, and constantly hearing about it in broad strokes doesn’t add meaningful value to our lives. Our community understands the depth of the issue. What we need now is not more reminders of how often these tragedies occur but rather resources, support, and practical tools to help us navigate the aftermath. That’s where our focus will shift.

So, how can you expect our content to change? Moving forward, we plan to produce more in-depth content rather than weekly summaries. This means fewer, but more substantial episodes and videos. We'll dive deep into specific stories, using Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests and other investigative tools to uncover how systemic failures occur and explore potential solutions. These deep dives will allow us to understand not just the “what” but the “why” and the “how”—how things went wrong, why they continue to go wrong, and what can be done to fix them. By focusing on these comprehensive investigations, we can offer a clearer path forward and actionable insights for our community.

Connecting Emotionally: The Power of Stories and Support

Our shift in focus also comes from a desire to connect with you on a deeper emotional level. I am committed to sharing stories that not only highlight the challenges we face but also the resilience and strength within our community. By spotlighting those who have been tirelessly fighting the good fight, we can inspire and support each other. I’ve connected with incredible individuals and organizations doing this work not for profit, but to protect others from what happened to them. It’s time these unsung heroes get the recognition they deserve.

Expanding Our Global Impact

Another exciting development is our expansion into the global landscape of MST. You may not know this, but military sexual trauma is not confined to any one country; it is a pervasive issue affecting militaries worldwide. I've had the privilege of connecting with people in different armed forces around the globe, and I told you the podcast was growing—I wasn't kidding! Together, we will create an international dialogue that highlights the universal nature of this problem, pushing for change wherever it is needed.

Practical Tools and Resources for Healing

In future episodes, expect practical, easy-to-implement advice that can help you navigate your healing journey. And if you become a member of our Patreon, you'll get access to them before anyone. Whether it's understanding how to get the most out of your C&P exam or finding new ways to cope with trauma, we're here to provide you with the tools you need. The podcast will focus on actionable content designed to make a real difference in your daily life. To continue receiving all these valuable insights and resources, make sure you're subscribed to our podcast and YouTube channel. Don't miss out on the latest episodes filled with expert advice, powerful stories, and practical tools to support your journey. Hit that subscribe button now and join us in this global movement for change.

Thank You for Your Patience and Support

I want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you—our listeners, viewers, readers—our Madvocates—for your patience as I navigate these changes. Your feedback and support have been a guiding light. I've realized that the work we're doing here is vital, and I’m committed to making this space as supportive, informative, and empowering as possible. I’ve been through quite a bit in the last year since starting this show, and I truly appreciate you going on this journey with me. It’s been an interesting one, to say the least, but I’m here for you, and I’m determined to continue growing and evolving this platform. This new direction feels like the best way forward, with a focus that is clear and unified.

What Do You Want to See Next?

As we move forward, I want to hear more from you. What kind of content would be most helpful? What topics do you want us to explore? Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Your input is crucial to ensuring that this podcast continues to serve its most important purpose: supporting and empowering survivors.

Share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments. What would you like to see from the podcast? How can we better support you as you heal? Your feedback is invaluable, and I’m committed to incorporating your ideas to make this podcast the best it can be.

Let’s keep moving forward, together.

<3 Rachelle

How To Overcome The Feeling Of Being Broken After MST

As the host of "The Silenced Voices of MST," I often get deeply personal questions from listeners who are navigating the aftermath of military sexual trauma (MST). One of the most relatable and tough statements I’ve encountered is, “I feel broken by my assault.” That’s something that takes so much courage to divulge to a complete stranger. It’s a sentence that resonates with profound pain and vulnerability, and it’s one that requires a nuanced response. It immediately makes sense, and it hurts to hear or see someone hurting like that

The Concept of Kintsugi

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In Japanese culture, there exists an art form known as Kintsugi. This ancient technique of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum is something a lot of people who have been traumatized find in their search for meaning or peace. Instead of hiding the cracks, Kintsugi highlights them, celebrating the pottery’s history and the beauty that can come from imperfection. The philosophy behind Kintsugi is that breakage and repair are part of an object's history, and rather than something to disguise, they should be embraced and celebrated.

Although I don’t think anyone would ever celebrate their assault, I do believe you can celebrate growth, rebirth, and your ability to help others with the life lessons learned on your path to healing. When we apply the principles of Kintsugi to our own lives, particularly in the context of MST, we begin to see that our experiences—no matter how painful—are integral parts of our story. They do not diminish our value but rather enhance our uniqueness and strength. I, too, felt completely worthless after repeated traumas and feeling like everyone could see that something was wrong with me. But now, I show the cracks, because that’s where my inner light shines through. The gold in our cracks symbolizes resilience, courage, and the beauty that emerges from our journey through adversity.

Grieving the Life You Once Had

One of the first steps in healing from MST is acknowledging and grieving the life you once had. It’s essential to give yourself permission to mourn the loss of the person you were before the assault. This grief is valid, and it’s a crucial part of the healing process.

I remember the days when I felt like a shadow of my former self, mourning the loss of my the life I had known as a military kid, my sense of security when seeing uniforms, and my trust in my judgement. How could I have been so wrong? This grief was a heavy burden, and I ran from it for a long time trying to hide it under a thick veneer of alcohol, drugs, and tons of bad decisions. But finally acknowledging it allowed me to start the process of healing. It’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to miss the person you used to be. Not only that, it’s okay to grieve the person you could have been. Let yourself grieve, but also internalize that this grief is not the end of your story.

Learning to Feel Safe in Your Body Again

Feeling safe in your body again is one of the most challenging aspects of recovery. MST often leaves us feeling disconnected from their bodies, plagued by anxiety, and haunted by memories of the assault. Reconnecting with your body is a gradual process, and it’s different for everyone. I remember trying to scrub my skin off one night because I just felt so disgusted with all of myself its not uncommon to hear something like this from survivors.

For me, learning to feel safe in my body involved exploring various therapeutic practices such as yoga, mindfulness, and somatic experiencing. These practices helped me to ground myself, to feel my feet on the earth, and to slowly reclaim my body as a safe space. It’s about small, intentional steps—feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin, the comfort of a soft blanket, the rhythm of your breath. Living with intention rather than drifting through life made the difference. These moments of mindfulness can help you rebuild a sense of safety and control.

Learning to Trust Again

Trust is often shattered after an assault, and rebuilding it can feel completely foreign. Trusting others, and even trusting yourself, may seem impossible. But trust can be rebuilt, piece by piece.

Start by surrounding yourself with people who respect and support you. This might be friends, family, or members of a support group. It could even be an online community centered on fixing and selling antique clocks. If it’s an activity where you feel at peace and can create a sense of self-worth, go for it! It’s important to have a safe space where you can express yourself without fear of judgment. Over time, these positive interactions can help you begin to trust again.

Trusting yourself is equally important. It’s about listening to your intuition and respecting your own boundaries. Remember, it’s okay to take things slow. I would t say to throw yourself into an environment full of wild cards where people may behave inappropriately and unpredictably (like a crowded bar or dance club). Easing back into being around other people is like getting into a hot tub. Healing is not a linear process, and it’s perfectly normal to have setbacks.

Finding Peace After Trauma

Finding peace after something as violent as MST is quite the task. It’s about integrating the traumatic experience into your life without allowing it to define you. It’s about reclaiming your story and finding moments of joy and tranquility amidst the chaos.

For me, peace comes in moments of stillness—watching a sunset, taking the time to create a really great meal from Pinterest, or losing myself in a good book. These moments remind me that despite the trauma, life still holds beauty and wonder. Peace is not a constant state but a series of fleeting moments that, when woven together, create a tapestry of resilience. And remember, you deserve peace. You are not undeserving because you’ve known pain. You will never be undeserving of peace no matter what you went through or what you had to do to survive. If anyone tries to make you feel that way, kick them out of your life immediately.

Embracing the Journey: Each Day is Work

Although I have reached a place of stability, each day is still work. I have bad days, days when the weight of my experiences feels too heavy to bear. But I also have good days, days when I feel proud of how far I’ve come. It’s important to acknowledge both. Healing is not about reaching a destination but about navigating the journey with compassion and courage.

I enjoy seeing myself handle a situation that years ago would have sent me in a tailspin. Now, I congratulate myself for find the right coping skills and knowing when I need to take a break and get recentered.

Focusing on Self-Pride

One of the most empowering aspects of my healing journey has been learning to focus on becoming proud of myself. It’s about celebrating the small victories—getting out of bed on a difficult day, reaching out for help, or simply taking a moment to breathe. These victories may seem insignificant to others, but to us, they are monumental.

I’m not saying to become arrogant. Everyone can see through falsely confident people, no matter what they tell themselves. There’s a reason arrogant people don’t have many friends, or if they do, they are frenemies. What I mean is to employ frequent positive self-talk!

I remind myself daily that I am proud of who I am and what I have overcome. This pride is not about ignoring the pain but about recognizing my strength and resilience. It’s about understanding that my worth is not defined by my trauma but by my ability to rise above it. I encourage myself through each step of the day. “Yes, I did it!” Or “Great job, girlfriend!”

It’s not stupid if it works

Finding Strength in Listening to Stories

One of the reasons I’ve been able to gain strength and host about something that is really triggering is because I know that I am fighting for the person I used to be and for many people who will live after me. Each story I listen to with my guests and audience is a testament to our collective resilience. It’s a reminder that while our experiences are painful, we are not alone. Help is out there!

The Advocates of MST: A Community of Support

In addition to the podcast, I founded the Facebook group, The Advocates of MST, as a space for survivors to connect, share their experiences, and support one another. This community has become a vital part of my healing process. Seeing others find their voice and gain strength from our shared experiences reminds me daily of the importance of our work. We are also going to start activism in a unique and interesting way in order to continue our fight for accountability in the Armed Services.

A Message to Those Who Feel Broken

To those who feel broken by their assault, I want you to know that you are not alone. Your feelings are valid, and your pain is real. But remember, like the pottery in Kintsugi, your cracks are not flaws—they are the places where the light escapes and tells your story of survival, courage, and strength.

Grieve the life you once had, but also embrace the person you are becoming. Reclaim your body as a safe space, rebuild trust in yourself and others, and seek moments of peace amidst the chaos. Each day is work, but each day is also an opportunity to grow, to heal, and to be proud of yourself.

Healing from MST is a complex and deeply personal journey. It’s about finding strength in brokenness, embracing the philosophy of Kintsugi, and allowing your cracks to shine with the gold of resilience and courage. It’s about grieving, rebuilding, and reclaiming your life, one step at a time.

As a survivor and an advocate, I am here to tell you that healing is possible. It’s a journey filled with challenges, but also with breakthrough moments of profound beauty and strength. Some days, you’ll feel invincible. Other days you’ll want to. E invisible. It’s okay! Be proud of your journey.

I hope this note is a source of comfort and inspiration for those who are navigating the difficult path of healing from MST.

Remember, you are not alone, and together, we can find strength in our brokenness and beauty in our scars.

Introducing BIG VOICE - Weekly Roundup from June 10-15

What is BIG VOICE ?

In the military, the term "Big Voice" typically refers to a loudspeaker system used on military bases to broadcast important announcements, warnings, or instructions. These messages are critical for maintaining safety, security, and operational efficiency within the base, ensuring that all personnel are informed of any immediate actions they need to take.

However, in the context of our podcast, BIG VOICE symbolizes our commitment to amplifying the stories and issues that matter most to the military and veteran communities.

BIG VOICE is a weekly podcast that delves into the most pressing news stories affecting our military and veteran communities. Released every Saturday, this podcast aims to provide transparency, accountability, and a platform for advocacy within the military. By uncovering stories that matter, BIG VOICE seeks to empower listeners with the information they need to demand justice and support for all service members.

Welcome to this week's episode of BIG VOICE, where we delve into the most pressing news stories affecting our military and veteran communities. This week, we uncover a series of alarming events that demand our attention and action:

1. Resignation and Allegations of Cover-up in the Coast Guard (00:00)

A high-ranking Coast Guard official has resigned after being instructed to cover up misconduct. This shocking story highlights the urgent need for transparency and accountability within our military branches. [For more information]

2. Suspension of ROTC Leader Amid Sexual Misconduct Investigation (02:36)

An ROTC leader has been suspended following allegations of sexual misconduct. This case underscores the importance of vigilance and immediate action in addressing such serious accusations. [For more information]

3. CEO of Veterans Nonprofit Found Liable for Sexual Harassment (03:58)

The CEO of a prominent veterans nonprofit has been found liable for sexually harassing 12 women. This disturbing revelation calls for stricter oversight and zero tolerance for harassment in organizations serving our veterans. [For more information]

4. Charges Against Major General in the Air Force (05:47)

A Major General in the Air Force has been charged with multiple crimes, including rape. This case exemplifies the critical need for holding individuals accountable, regardless of their rank, to ensure a safe and respectful environment for all service members.

[For more information], [For more information], [For more information]

What Can We Takeaway From These News Stories?

- Transparency and accountability are crucial in all branches of the military.

- Support for survivors of military sexual trauma is essential.

- There is an ongoing need for vigilance and accountability in addressing sexual misconduct in the military.

- Power dynamics within the military can complicate issues like consent.

- Holding people accountable regardless of their position is important for creating safe and respectful environments.

- Advocacy and sharing stories can contribute to positive change.

Join the Conversation

Join the conversation and make your voice heard! Like, share, and subscribe to stay updated on the latest developments and support our mission for justice and accountability in the military.

We now have a private Facebook group named The Advocates of MST, please join! https://www.facebook.com/share/2K6kFarhiqBv8HkA/

Click the thumbnail below to watch, and remember: accountability and change are impossible without visibility. Your voice is a weapon against MST.

Emerging: Coast Guard Commandant Testifies On Massive Cover-up At Academy

Last night’s testimony of Admiral Linda Fagan before Congress has shed light on a scandal of monumental proportions. The U.S. Coast Guard’s “Operation Fouled Anchor” investigation, which uncovered rampant sexual assault and harassment at the Coast Guard Academy, was deliberately concealed from Congress and the public. This betrayal is a blatant disregard for justice and transparency, and it demands immediate action.

A History of Neglect and Concealment

The investigation revealed that between the late 1980s and 2006, dozens of substantiated incidents of rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment occurred at the Coast Guard Academy. Despite these findings, the report was buried, and the victims were denied justice. This cover-up is not just an oversight; it’s a calculated attempt to protect the institution at the expense of the survivors .

Key Findings:

• Dozens of substantiated incidents of rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment.

• Failure to disclose the investigation to Congress and the public.

• Continued concealment by top officials, including former Commandant Karl Schultz.

The Cost of Silence

Admiral Linda Fagan’s testimony last night has brought this scandal into the public eye, but her admission of ignorance about the full extent of the investigation until recently is unacceptable. The Coast Guard’s actions—or lack thereof—demonstrate a systemic issue that must be addressed immediately.

Admiral Fagan’s Testimony Highlights:

• Admitted failure to report the findings to Congress.

• Unaware of the investigation’s full scope until it was exposed by the media.

• Commitment to notifying Congress only after the scandal broke.

Congressional Response

Senator Richard Blumenthal and other members of the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations have been vocal about the need for full disclosure and accountability. Their call for an Inspector General investigation into why “Operation Fouled Anchor” was kept secret is a crucial step toward justice.

The Impact on Survivors

The Coast Guard’s betrayal has a profound impact on the survivors of these heinous acts. By concealing the investigation, the Coast Guard has further victimized these individuals, denying them the justice and support they deserve.

Survivor Testimonies:

• Voices silenced by institutional neglect or fear of retaliation.

• Continued trauma from the lack of accountability.

• Demand for justice and transparency.

A Safe Space for Survivors

We understand that coming forward can be daunting, especially when trust has been so deeply violated. We welcome survivors to share their stories anonymously if they don’t feel safe. Your voice is powerful, and we are here to support you.

Episode 7 came to my mind as I watched this testimony. Our guest, a courageous Navy Commander, shared the story of her brutal assault and how she was treated afterward. This is not new information to our Senators, but this problem continues?

How You Can Make a Difference

We must keep the pressure on the Coast Guard to fully disclose all information related to “Operation Fouled Anchor” and hold those responsible accountable. Sharing these stories and amplifying the voices of survivors is crucial in the fight for justice.

Here’s how you can help:

•Share this post to raise awareness.

•Follow us on social media to stay informed and engaged.

•Subscribe to our podcast for in-depth discussions on this issue and to give these stories the attention they deserve.

Together, we can ensure that these voices are heard and that meaningful change is achieved. By holding the military accountable, we can protect and advocate for survivors of military sexual trauma.

Demand Justice Now

The U.S. Coast Guard’s concealment of sexual assault cases is a gross injustice that cannot be ignored. We must demand transparency and accountability from those in power. Join us in this critical mission to protect and advocate for survivors of military sexual trauma.

Links for Further Reading:

• C-eSPAN: Admiral Linda Fagan’s Testimony

• CNN: Former Coast Guard Leader Buried Investigation

• Whistleblower Comes Forward

How do you feel knowing a cover up was going on for decades in the Coast Guard? Share your thoughts below

Why One Assault is Still Too Many

April marks the beginning of Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), a time dedicated to raising awareness about sexual violence and its impact on individuals and communities. In recognition of this significant month, it is essential to shed light on the prevalence of military sexual trauma (MST) and its profound implications for survivors.

Understanding Military Sexual Trauma (MST): A Unique Challenge

Military Sexual Trauma (MST) is a pervasive issue that affects individuals serving in the military and their surrounding communities, regardless of gender, age, rank, or race. It encompasses a range of sexual violations, including sexual harassment, assault, and rape, perpetrated by fellow service members or superiors, and it can also happen to dependents. The prevalence of MST continuing rise, even after many publicized events after high-profile deaths and an unprecedented change to the UCMJ highlights the urgent need for increased awareness, prevention, and support for survivors within the military community.

As we observe Sexual Assault Awareness Month, it is crucial to recognize the unique challenges faced by survivors of MST. The hierarchical structure and male-dominated culture of the military can exacerbate feelings of powerlessness and isolation for survivors, making it difficult for them to come forward and seek help. Additionally, the stigma surrounding mental health and sexual assault within the military can further deter survivors from speaking out and accessing support services, especially if the trauma happens to a male.

In light of these challenges, raising awareness about MST is paramount in fostering a culture of accountability, support, and prevention within the military. By amplifying the voices of survivors, advocating for policy changes, and promoting education and training on sexual violence prevention, we can work towards creating safer and more inclusive environments for all service members. Here at Silenced Voices, we advocate for a cultural change in our military, so that those in need can get the help they need without fear of ridicule, being ostracized, or even further harmed.

Commemorating Sexual Assault Awareness Month: Free E-book Release

To commemorate Sexual Assault Awareness Month and honor the resilience of MST survivors, we are pleased to announce the release of a new free e-book, which is one of a three part series. This e-book offers valuable insights, resources, and strategies for survivors navigating the complexities of MST and seeking healing and empowerment. Not only is this e-book a resource for those unfamiliar with MST and would like to learn more, it also showcases strength and courage of survivors trying to heal while underscoring the importance of supporting and advocating for their rights.

The Symbolism of the Teal Ribbon: Reflecting the Year-Round Struggle

The teal ribbon has become a symbol of awareness and support for survivors of sexual assault. It serves as a reminder that sexual assault remains a problem year-round until it is eradicated.

That is why Silenced Voices | Stories of MST uses teal in its logo and most of its products—to reflect the ongoing struggle and to stand in solidarity with survivors. It is also a nod to Rosie the Riveter, the women that stepped up to work in factories and more during WW2, as part of their patriotic duty. We could think of nothing more patriotic than advocating the safety and mental health of our service members and their communities.

Announcing Silenced Voices | Stories of MST: Premiering April 2nd

Again, we are excited to announce the premiere of Silenced Voices | Stories of MST’s second season on April 2, 2024. We are introducing video podcasts to help expand awareness and bring in more support. Please subscribe to our YouTube channel to see each episode and also learn about recent headlines concerning Military Sexual Trauma. Our first guest, UN Ambassador Eileen Dong, will share her powerful story of survival and resilience, offering inspiration, hope, and more resources to survivors worldwide.

The Symbolism of the Teal Ribbon: Reflecting the Year-Round Struggle

Next week, as we begin the month of awareness and advocacy during Sexual Assault Awareness Month, stand in solidarity with survivors of MST and reaffirm our commitment to creating a military and a world free from sexual violence. Together, we can break the silence, challenge the stigma, and build a future where all individuals are treated with dignity, respect, and equality.

Listen. Believe. Support.

Survivor Eileen Dong Takes on Human Trafficking

As we eagerly prepare for the debut of Season 2 of our podcast on April 2, 2024, we're thrilled to introduce you to our first guest, UN Ambassador Eileen Dong. In anticipation of this insightful conversation, we're shaking things up by not only bringing you our usual audio format but also introducing video podcasts on YouTube. It's an exciting time as we expand our reach and dive deeper into crucial topics.

So, let's take a moment to get acquainted with our remarkable guest and the important discussion ahead.

UN Ambassador Eileen Dong

Founder and Executive Director
Hope Pyx Global

Recipient of the Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award

Learn more

In our conversation, Eileen shares her journey, shedding light on the harrowing realities of human trafficking and its intersection with military sexual trauma (MST). It's a conversation that challenges misconceptions and emphasizes the urgent need for action and support.

Her story is one of courage, resilience, and unwavering commitment to making the world a better place. She works tireless in advocacy against human trafficking and gender-based violence serves as a symbol of hope for survivors everywhere. During the interview, we're reminded of the importance of listening, supporting, and taking action to create a safer, more compassionate world for all.

Human trafficking is a global issue, far more prevalent and insidious than many realize. Eileen highlights the misconceptions surrounding trafficking, emphasizing that it can happen to anyone, regardless of their background or location. Through her work, she aims to debunk myths and raise awareness about the true scale of this crisis.

Finding Passion and Purpose

Eileen's journey to becoming an advocate against human trafficking is deeply personal. It stems from her own experiences as a survivor of polyvictimization and her unwavering commitment to preventing others from enduring similar horrors. Her passion and purpose drive every action, inspiring others to join the fight. Survivors of human trafficking often grapple with long-term effects that extend far beyond their immediate ordeal. Eileen emphasizes the importance of support systems and empathy in helping survivors heal and rebuild their lives.

Recognizing the signs of trafficking and offering support can be life-changing. Eileen provides valuable insights into how individuals can identify potential victims and take action to intervene and offer assistance.

Cultural sensitivity and ending victim blaming are essential components of addressing human trafficking effectively. Eileen emphasizes the need for empathy and understanding, urging society to see trafficked individuals as human beings deserving of dignity and respect.

Eileen’s Upcoming Book and Projects

Eileen's dedication to her cause knows no bounds. She shares details about her upcoming projects, including a book targeting law enforcement and a survivor-centered guide. Her relentless pursuit of justice and support for survivors is truly inspiring.

Eileen's upcoming book promises to be a valuable resource for survivors, law enforcement, and community members alike. It provides a comprehensive guide to understanding and combating human trafficking, offering practical insights and technical information.

Let's continue the conversation on April 2, and take meaningful action to support survivors and end human trafficking once and for all. Join us in listening to and thanking Eileen Dong for her tireless efforts and for being a voice for the voiceless. Together, we can build a future free from exploitation and violence.

Resources

• National Human Trafficking Hotline: 888-373-7888

• National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-Hope

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

Stay connected with Eileen Dong

Website: Eileen Dong

Book: Thank Your Predator: A Guide to Trauma Recovery from Abuse

International Conference on Abuse: Hope Pyx Global

For upcoming events and resources: Hope Pyx Global

To make a tax-deductible donation: Hope Pyx Global

International Survivors Network: Facebook Group

The Ms Texas Show: YouTube

Social Media: LinkedIn - Eileen Dong, LinkedIn - Hope Pyx Global