Military Sexual Trauma and Letting Go of Repressed Pain: Ron Carter (Part 2) | The Silenced Voices of MST with Rachelle Smith
Military Sexual Trauma survivor Ron Carter appears on The Silenced Voices of MST to share the experiences that shaped his early service, the assault he endured, and the long-term effects that developed when the trauma went unrecognized. This interview begins a three-part series that follows his path from enlistment through MST, behavioral collapse, and his eventual understanding of PTSD outside of combat contexts. His story offers clear insight into how MST develops within military structures and how untreated trauma influences thinking, memory, relationships, and emotional regulation over decades.
U.S. Army veteran Ron Carter discusses Military Sexual Trauma, finding benefit in doing intensive therapy and somatic release to come to terms with what he survived while serving on The Silenced Voices of MST.
U.S. Army veteran Ron Carter continues his story on The Silenced Voices of MST. In Part 1, Ron shared his experience of assault and decades of undiagnosed PTSD. In Part 2, he shares a possible reason for the outcome of filing his disability claim with uncharacteristic ease that validated his trauma and raised more questions, reaching his breaking point at an annual VA appointment, and his experiences through therapy and alternative treatments. Ron shares many profound insights going from crisis to acceptance, the role of persistence in navigating, and what is possible when survivors finally find therapies that work.
Military Sexual Trauma survivor Ron Carter appears on The Silenced Voices of MST in Part 2 of his 3-part series to recount what it was like finally seeking help after trying to live his life without acknowledging or understanding the severity of his assault while serving in the Army. An unexplained breakdown and an understanding VA staff led to him remembering the trauma he’d repressed for 35 years, and as soon as he could, he began treatment for PTSD and other mental illnesses that had resulted. He shares the methods of therapy he used to begin healing, including a detailed account of how Psilocybin therapy offered him somatic release from the trauma that remained trapped in his body. He and Rachelle discuss how predators and perpetrators can be held accountable, as well as their hopes for future generations having safety without people who commit crimes and harm having many places to hide. This episode provides invaluable insights into the importance of having support, numerous methods of therapy to choose from, and acknowledges that the military needs to do something in order to protect the men and women called to serve the country.
Dealing with the VA Disability Claims Process
Ron initially avoided anything connected to his military service. Years of suppressing his trauma led to a disconnect from the experiences that shaped his post-military life. He describes burying the assault so deeply that he convinced himself it never happened, or at least that it didn't matter anymore. This avoidance extended to the VA system itself. Ron resisted engaging with the VA because the military had already failed him once, and he questioned why the VA would be any different.
Despite his resistance, Ron eventually filed for PTSD disability. The approval came quickly. The VA granted him a 70% rating, but Ron was surprised about how easy it was to get to 100% with the help of a lawyer. The unexpected ease of the approval process raised questions about his perpetrator. Had the platoon sergeant harmed more people the same way? Without answers, Ron recalls that at times, he still feels rage resurface about that day. But he is also unsure that he would want that information, because he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep himself from doing anything about it.
Expressing deep concern for the future service members in the Armed Forces, he points out that he is oddly glad that if an assault were to happen to him at any point in his life, he was grateful that it was while serving in the military. Now, there are multitudes of resources and help available when someone understands what happened to them. The veterans’ benefits helped him and his family, while he realizes that civilians don’t usually have the same access to care. He calls this a silver lining.
But he does want the next generations to not be a part of the current epidemic of military sexual trauma. He shares the numbers of people affected and suicides each year, and the infuriation of this continuing to happen consistently to the young people who are choosing to serve.
The Exhaustion that Led to Confronting the Past (Trigger Warning)
Trigger Warning: This section contains discussion of mental health crisis.
Even with the disability rating, he spent years holding everything in, feeling as though he was the only person this had ever happened to. Then came the breaking point at an annual appointment at the VA.
"I went to talk and I couldn't talk. I started crying uncontrollably." Ron explains. The trigger for the breakdown?
The Physicians Assistant asked, “Hey Ron, how are you?”
“I can’t live like this anymore. I’m tired of
fighting.”
All those years of suppressing his trauma, and suddenly he couldn't do it anymore. He describes sitting in that VA office, confronting suicidal thoughts he'd been pushing away for decades. He was exhausted from hypervigilance and not understanding what was happening inside his body and mind. When the PA called a Psychiatrist down, he wasn’t able to speak to her either. It took quite a while for him to calm down enough to say, “I can’t live like this anymore. I’m tired of fighting.”
Ron's sudden outburst was the culmination of years of isolation that nearly cost him his life during ongoing battles with suicidal ideation. The breakdown forced him to acknowledge that he could no longer survive by burying his pain. He needed help, and he needed it immediately. This crisis became the turning point that led him toward therapy, treatment, and eventually healing.
Remembering His Assault: Rediscovering Buried Memories
U.S. Army veteran Ron Carter discusses Military Sexual Trauma, finding benefit in doing intensive therapy and somatic release to come to terms with what he survived while serving on The Silenced Voices of MST.
The psychiatrist that Ron spoke to listened to what Ron had been struggling with for decades, and identified severe depression and PTSD . He responded that he couldn’t have PTSD, because he hadn’t been in combat. The therapist told him to think about it to see if he could remember and assured him that it could be caused by more than combat.
In the interview, he says that he had forgotten what had happened, but memories of the assault began to surface after a few days of ruminating. Shocked, he had to gather his courage and return to the psychiatrist, saying flatly what happened through another crying jag. The doctor didn’t judge, and immediately got Ron into treatment and resources to begin the work of healing.
He didn't have the language or framework to understand what he was experiencing. Not realizing he had PTSD for decades meant also understanding it was real and damaging.
This process is common among trauma survivors. The brain protects us by suppressing memories too painful to process, but they don’t disappear completely. They continue to live in our bodies, affecting our relationships, our mental health, and our ability to function. Therapy gave Ron permission to remember. More importantly, it gave him tools to process without being destroyed.
Embracing Therapy and Psilocybin Treatment
Ron tried multiple therapeutic approaches, including Cognitive Based Therapy and Written Talk Therapy and Written therapy helped, but it was a psilocybin treatment that created a breakthrough. He made serious progress identifying the experiences that harmed him, but still felt as though the trauma was trapped in his body for decades.
"I had a conversation with God," Ron explains. “It’s weird to talk about because I’ve not met a person yet who’s done it that can do it any justice with words."
Ron acknowledges that healing is a uniquely personal journey for everyone. What works for one person may not work for another, but the key is remaining open to different approaches and being willing to try new methods when traditional therapy plateaus.
Written therapy allowed Ron to express thoughts he couldn't speak aloud, and psilocybin allowed him to access emotions he couldn't reach otherwise. He describes the experience as finally being able to release pain he didn't even know he was carrying, by seeing that all humans are connected and loved. The biggest lesson he took away from the hero dose session: I’m always loved, and I will always be loved.
Ron's Advocacy Mission
"Why would we go through these things if we can’t turn it into something that’s positive?" he asks, then emphasizes, "I want to help people, young men and women."
Ron now focuses on raising awareness about MST and supporting other survivors. His mission is clear: prevent the next generation of service members from experiencing the same trauma. Being silent for decades was survival in a system that punishes vulnerability. Talking openly on social media about his experience so others don't have to suffer in isolation, which results in receiving messages from people encouraged by his vulnerability to seek help.
Frequently Asked Questions about Military Sexual Trauma and Male Survivors
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About 1 in 50 male veterans report military sexual trauma (VA National Center for PTSD), but studies using anonymous survey methodology found rates as high as 12.4% (Trauma, Violence & Abuse, 2011). The gap between reported and actual incidents reveals massive underreporting. Because of the higher ratio of men to women in the military, the raw numbers of men and women who experience MST are comparable, challenging the misconception that MST primarily affects women.
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About 90% of men in the military did not report a sexual assault they experienced in 2021 (DAV). Overall, it's estimated that 77% of service member sexual assaults go unreported. Male survivors often worry that others will perceive the assault as weakness, femininity, or homosexual orientation. These cultural barriers, combined with fear of retaliation and career damage, make it especially difficult for male survivors to come forward.
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MST survivors are 7.25 times more likely to be diagnosed with PTSD than those who did not experience sexual trauma (Columbia Social Work Review). The severity of PTSD from MST is extreme. This is because MST involves betrayal by trusted colleagues within a system meant to provide safety, creating compounded trauma that requires specialized treatment.
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From 2011 to 2021, the total number of MST claims filed by men increased by more than 119%. The number of claims granted by the VA grew from 27.8% in 2011 to 68.5% in 2021 (VA Claims Insider). This shows significant progress, though it also reveals how many survivors had to fight for recognition and validation of their trauma.
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Roughly 17 veterans die by suicide each day (VA Mental Health), and military sexual trauma puts veterans at significantly higher risk. MST survivors face compounded trauma that requires specialized support. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the Veterans Crisis Line at 988, then press 1.
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Recent studies show that 60% of veterans with severe treatment-resistant depression who received psilocybin treatment met response criteria at three weeks. The VA announced funding for MDMA and psilocybin-assisted therapy studies in 2024, marking the first time since the 1960s that the VA has funded research on psychedelic compounds. Nine VA facilities are now participating in these studies.
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No. You don't need a service-connected disability rating or other VA benefits to receive MST-related care. Every VA facility has an MST coordinator available to help survivors access treatment and support. Call your local VA or visit www.va.gov to connect with an MST coordinator.
Episode Trigger Warnings and Timestamps
00:00 VA Disability Claim and Possible Patterns of Abuse
Triggering content 2:57 - 4:38 (suicide + MST statistics)
06:28 Breaking Down at the VA and Confronting Buried Trauma
Triggering content 6:51 - 10:59 (Suicidal ideations, breakdown, remembering his repressed trauma)
11:08 Ron’s Beginning Different Modalities of Therapy
14:20 Ron’s Conversation with God
19:48 The Relationship Between Technology, Connection, and Accountability
23:30 Preview of Part 3 of Ron’s Story
Resources from this Episode
Resources for Survivors
If you or someone you know is struggling with military sexual trauma, resources are available. For additional support navigating VA claims, download our free VA Disability Toolkit.
VA MST Support: Every VA facility has an MST coordinator. You don't need a service-connected disability rating or other VA benefits to receive MST-related care. Call your local VA or visit www.va.gov to connect with an MST coordinator.
Veterans Crisis Line: Call 988, then press 1. Available 24/7 for veterans in crisis. You can also text 838255 or chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net.
Military OneSource: Offers confidential counseling and support for active-duty service members and their families. Call 800-342-9647 or visit MilitaryOneSource.mil
The Advocates of MST: By joining The Advocates, you add to a powerful collective voice that demands attention and action. Connect with others who understand your experiences and are committed to supporting each other. Find support at https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadvocatesofmst
Watch or Listen to Ron's Full Story
You can hear Part 2 of my interview with Ron Carter on The Silenced Voices of MST podcast available on all major podcast platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube. We dive deeper into his experience with the VA, his therapeutic journey, and his current advocacy work. If you haven't already, listen to Part 1 of Ron's story where he shares his assault experience and the years of undiagnosed PTSD that followed.
Healing is the end goal of military sexual trauma. You’re not alone, and you can explore more survivor stories and resources on our blog.
About the Guest
Ron Carter is a former Army infantryman turned MST advocate. After surviving a premeditated and devastating assault while on active duty, he committed himself to supporting others who have been affected. Through speaking engagements and community work, Ron pushes for better resources and policy change and uses his platform to amplify survivor voices.
About the Host
Rachelle Smith is the host of The Silenced Voices of MST and a survivor of military sexual trauma. She served as a Public Affairs Officer in the Air Force after growing up in a military family. Her experience with MST and the years spent struggling with PTSD and depression gave her a unique understanding of what survivors face.
This podcast exists because she knew firsthand how isolating MST can be. Since launching The Silenced Voices of MST in 2023, she’s interviewed dozens of survivors, advocates, and experts. Her mission is to empower survivors by providing a space to amplify survivor stories and demand change.
Help Keep This Podcast Going
I've been funding this podcast entirely on my own since 2023, and it hasn’t been easy. If this work has helped you or someone you care about, please consider supporting it with a monthly donation. Even $10 a month makes a real difference in covering hosting, editing, and production costs.
ART Might Be the Trauma Treatment Veterans Need to Turn their Lives Around
When I discovered Accelerated Resolution Therapy could process trauma in one to five sessions, it caught my attention immediately. Not because it was a miracle cure, but because of what that timeline means for someone who's been stuck. I know what it's like to sit in therapy talking in circles, unable to break through because your own trauma blocks the path forward. Knowing quickly whether something is working instead of investing months or year can be the difference between giving up and finding your way forward.
Research shows up to 83% of patients drop out of traditional PTSD therapies before their fifth session. Meanwhile, ART has a 94% completion rate among veterans.
I came across Accelerated Resolution Therapy the same way I find most resources I share with our community: scrolling through news stories on our BlueSky account, looking for anything that might help.
I'd never heard of it before, but what caught my attention was the timeline: one to five sessions to process traumatic memories and reduce PTSD symptoms. Traditional therapy can take months or years.
The Merry-Go-Round Problem
If you've been in therapy for trauma, you know the frustration I'm talking about. Sitting there talking in circles, trying to get to some conclusion your therapist is guiding you toward, but not being able to reach it. And it’s not due to a lack of intelligence or insight, and it’s also not because your therapist lacks skill.
I've been there. I knew I wanted to get better and to make progress, but I felt stuck. Then I blamed myself for it, even though it wasn't my fault. It’s your trauma and pain stopping you from getting where you need to go.
That self-blame makes everything worse. You start comparing yourself to other survivors who seem further along in their journey. Seeing them on social media living happily and getting all the things I told myself I wanted but couldn’t get was like torture. There were marriages, first-homes purchased, families started, and more. Each new happy face felt like an indictment of my own ability to move on or forward.
I remember thinking, "Why can't I do this? Why is this taking so long?"
The result is anger, bending to the weight of hopelessness and feeling overwhelmed by the feelings of helplessness. If you’re anything like me, you don’t want to go to therapy anymore when you reach this point. Then you stop going.
What Happens When You Hit That Wall
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Here's what typically happens: We fall through the cracks or quit that therapist and try another, only to run into the same problem. That cycle can lead to worse or potentially deadly mental health episodes. They did for me.
Research shows that up to 83% of patients drop out of traditional evidence-based PTSD therapies before their fifth session. Meanwhile, a 2013 randomized controlled trial found that ART demonstrates a 94% completion rate among veterans with combat-related PTSD.
That difference matters when you're exhausted and losing hope.
Why Speed Matters
ART works differently than traditional talk therapy. You don't have to verbalize the details of your trauma to participate, which is something that a lot of veterans are adverse to because it’s too difficult to go through the traumatic experiences again. The therapy uses eye movements, similar to EMDR, combined with visualization techniques to help your brain reprocess traumatic memories.
The goal is to detach the emotional charge from those memories. You don't have to relive them out loud in order to heal.
For MST survivors who face unique barriers to disclosure, this matters.
But here's what really stuck out to me about that timeline: How quickly a patient would know whether it’s working for them instead of investing months or years before realizing something else might be a better fit.
The Questions This Raises
ART was recognized as an evidence-based treatment by SAMHSA back in 2015. That's nearly a decade ago.
Why aren't more veterans hearing about it?
This post isn’t here to be combative about the VA's pace with new treatments, because I also don’t know the extent of the processes in place to introduce them to veterans. But I do know what it's like to advocate for yourself when what you're being offered isn't working.
I had to do this for my own medication (something that came out at the end of 2022 and saved my life). The VA still doesn't offer it in their formulary. I was in a completely different mental state three days after starting it, and that was after a month of a community care provider going to bat for me.
How many people have fallen through the cracks because something new hasn't been considered or isn’t known about yet?
What You Can Do
If ART sounds like something worth exploring, here's what I want you to know:
Ask your provider about its effectiveness and availability. Ask them to do the research on implementing it as a tool, or request a referral to community care where you can access this treatment if its available in your area.
You have the right to ask for alternatives when what you're being offered isn't working.
One of the driving forces behind starting The Silenced Voices of MST was helping veterans find as many resources and treatment options as possible. I want you to have the same chance at recovery that I did, and I stumbled upon mine accidentally.
A Final Word
There's a quote from Vanilla Sky that spoke to my heart when I wasn't well: "Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around."
When I finally got better, that quote became real for me. I've lived every minute since that morning with it in my mind.
ART could be a chance for many out there that continue to suffer from their trauma.
All anyone needs is a chance to give it their all and see if something works. And if it doesn't work perfectly, take what does work and add it to your toolbox. Leave the rest.
Don't give up on yourself. You deserve to feel better and take your power back.
And remember: even after a significant breakthrough, life won't be perfect. But you'll be equipped to handle life's curveballs instead of being completely bowled over by them.
If you're a higher-functioning veteran who found this helpful, share it with your network. Someone who needs a reason to hope might see it. My goal with sharing resources is to demonstrate how veterans have significantly improved from alternatives and advocate for the VA to implement more treatment options.
Self Care Secrets (Part 1): We All Float In Here
In our busy lives, "self-care" often conjures up images of bubble baths and spa days. While these are wonderful, self-care, especially for survivors of military sexual trauma (MST), encompasses much more. It's a vital part of healing and recovery, addressing deep emotional wounds and physical stress.
One groundbreaking self-care practice is sensory deprivation, or flotation therapy. This involves floating in a tank of saltwater at body temperature, in complete darkness and silence. It offers deep relaxation, mindfulness, stress relief, and improved sleep—benefits particularly valuable for MST survivors.
If you're curious about this unique method, find a local flotation therapy center and prepare for a journey of self-discovery and healing. For more innovative self-care tips, subscribe to "The Silenced Voices of MST" podcast and join our community of survivors and advocates. Share your experiences in the comments—your story could inspire others!
When we hear the term "self-care," many of us immediately envision bubble baths, spa days, or other indulgent activities that provide temporary relaxation. While these aesthetic experiences can be beneficial, self-care encompasses a far broader range of practices, many of which go beyond the surface level. For survivors of military sexual trauma, self-care is not just a luxury but a vital component of healing and recovery. This series aims to dive deeper into self-care, highlighting its importance and exploring practices that might not immediately come to mind but can have profound impacts on your well-being.
Why Self-Care is Crucial for MST Survivors
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Self-care is the act of deliberately taking steps to preserve or improve one’s health. For MST survivors, self-care is an essential part of the healing process. Trauma can take a significant toll on both mental and physical health, leading to conditions such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Engaging in self-care helps to mitigate these effects by providing necessary relief, fostering resilience, and promoting a sense of control over one’s life.
Emotional Healing: Trauma disrupts your emotional balance, often leading to feelings of fear, anger, and sadness. Self-care practices help to manage these emotions, providing a way to process and release them in a healthy manner.
Physical Health: Stress and trauma can weaken the immune system, increase blood pressure, and lead to other health issues. Self-care activities, especially those that involve physical movement, can improve overall health and contribute to a sense of well-being.
Mental Clarity: Trauma can cloud your mind and make it difficult to think clearly or make decisions. Regular self-care practices can enhance mental clarity and focus, making it easier to navigate daily challenges.
Groundbreaking Self-Care Practice: The Power of Sensory Deprivation
One innovative self-care practice that many people might not readily think of is sensory deprivation, specifically through the use of flotation therapy, also known as float tanks or sensory deprivation tanks. This practice involves floating in a tank filled with salt water at body temperature, in complete darkness and silence. Here’s why this unconventional self-care method can be particularly beneficial for MST survivors:
Deep Relaxation: The absence of sensory input allows your body and mind to enter a state of deep relaxation. This can be especially beneficial for those who struggle with anxiety and PTSD, as it provides a respite from constant hyper-vigilance and stress.
Enhanced Mindfulness: Floating in a sensory deprivation tank can help you achieve a meditative state, promoting mindfulness and a deeper connection with your inner self. This can facilitate emotional healing and self-discovery.
Reduced Stress and Pain: The buoyancy provided by the saltwater can alleviate physical pain and tension. This is particularly helpful for MST survivors who may experience chronic pain or physical discomfort as a result of their trauma.
Improved Sleep: Many people who use sensory deprivation tanks report improved sleep quality. For MST survivors, who often struggle with insomnia or disrupted sleep, this can be a crucial benefit.
How to Get Started with Sensory Deprivation
If you’re interested in exploring sensory deprivation as a self-care practice, here’s how to get started:
1. Find a Local Facility: Search for spas or wellness centers that offer flotation therapy. Many urban areas have facilities specifically designed for sensory deprivation experiences.
2. Prepare Yourself Mentally: The idea of complete darkness and silence can be daunting. Prepare yourself by researching what to expect and starting with shorter sessions if needed.
3. Set an Intention: Before entering the tank, set a clear intention for your session. This could be to relax, to explore your thoughts, or to simply experience the sensation.
4. Stay Open-Minded: It may take a few sessions to fully acclimate to the experience. Stay open-minded and give yourself time to adjust.
5. Reflect on the Experience: After your session, take some time to reflect on how you feel. Note any changes in your stress levels, physical sensations, or emotional state.
Self-care for MST survivors is not just about surface-level relaxation; it’s about finding innovative and effective ways to support your healing journey. Sensory deprivation, through flotation therapy, offers a unique and profound method to achieve deep relaxation, mindfulness, and stress relief. By exploring this unconventional self-care practice, you can uncover new paths to healing and well-being.
If you’re curious about how sensory deprivation can benefit your recovery journey, consider booking a session at a local flotation therapy center. For more groundbreaking self-care ideas and support, subscribe to "The Silenced Voices of MST" podcast and join our community of survivors and advocates at The Advocates of MST on Facebook.
Have you ever tried sensory deprivation or flotation therapy? How did it impact your mental and physical health? Share your experiences in the comments below – your insights could inspire others to explore this innovative self-care practice.